


you're the closest to heaven that i'll ever be

by flintsjohn



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Drabble Collection, Multi, Tumblr Prompts, check each chapter for specific warnings!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:10:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 24,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flintsjohn/pseuds/flintsjohn
Summary: a collection of my tumblr prompts (@vlamito)title from iris by goo goo dolls





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> prompt: things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear + malex

Michael feels like he hasn’t slept in months, which is probably not so far off from the truth. Three months ago, when they received the call from Kyle that a newborn had been abandoned at the hospital and they were looking for an adoptive family, he’d almost laughed in Alex’s hopeful face. A million excuses had spilled from his mouth – were they even ready, and they weren’t married, and what kind of fathers could they be when neither of them had had a positive father figure growing up, and on and on. Still, Alex had convinced him to at least go to the hospital to see the baby. And that had been Michael’s mistake, really, because the moment he saw Rosa, he fell head over heels in love with her. So they started the adoption process and brought her home, scrambling to put together an appropriate space with the help of their friends and family.

The truth is, even if he’s since had the time to get used to the idea of being a father, Michael is still terrified. He’s scared of dropping her, for one, and of hurting her because she’s so small, and of making all the wrong choices. Sharing this with Alex, though, is what makes everything better in the end.

Still, he’s tired. His legs and back ache after a full day at work in the lab, and his hand is acting up, but it’s his turn to change Rosa’s diaper, so here he is, his nose scrunched up as he glares tiredly at his daughter, who won’t stop moving long enough for him to fasten the new diaper to her waist.

“Please, baby, just let daddy…” he mutters, rubbing the back of his hand against his eyes. Rosa keeps kicking happily, not a bit tired even if it’s two in the morning. Michael sighs, resigned, and finally gives up and reaches out with his powers to finish the job.

“There, all done.” He pokes a finger gently in Rosa’s belly, making her giggle, “And don’t you dare tell anything to papa.”

“What shouldn’t she tell me?”

Michael freezes at the groggy voice coming from the doorway of the nursery.

“Uh, nothing?” Michael rubs a hand over the back of his neck before picking up Rosa with a sheepish grin and turning to Alex.

“Did you use your powers again?” Alex frowns at him, taking a step closer to them so he can rest a hand on Rosa’s back while he presses a kiss to Michael’s cheek.

“Hmm, she was moving too much. Had no choice.”

“Fine. I’ll let it slide just this once if you promise to make it up to me.”

Michael gets a wicked grin on his face as he walks over to the bassinette to put Rosa to sleep. He drops a kiss on her forehead and turns back to Alex, crowding up against him.

“And how would you like me to make it up to you?” His voice drops dangerously low, and he gets a swat on the arm and a glare from Alex for it, but it’s worth it to see the blush rising to his cheeks.

“Stop that. Our daughter is right there.”

“You started it.” Michael shrugs, taking Alex’s hand to lead him back to their bedroom. And if he walks a little faster to get Alex into bed sooner, that’s nobody’s business but their own.

Michael is tired. He’s been tired before. Of the lies, of the secrets, of the shame. But now, he welcomes the exhaustion as an old friend, because it comes from a good day’s work, from raising his daughter, from being with the man he loves. And he wouldn’t have it any other way.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael might be a bit of a town slut

They’re all gathered for a nice night in at Max’s, drinks and conversation flowing freely. Michael is sprawled on the couch, Alex tucked under an arm and a beer in his free hand. He listens to Maria and Alex discuss animatedly with a lazy grin on his face. Around them, their friends are immersed in their own conversations – Max, Isobel, Noah and Jenna are talking about some upcoming town event which will somehow involve all of them, and Kyle and Liz are discussing a study they’ve both heard of at the hospital. Michael is more relaxed than he’s been in weeks, and he’ll admit he’s not actually paying attention to any of the conversations that are going on in the room, just soaking it all in. That is, until Maria’s voice raises a little and he actually focuses on what she’s saying.

“Where the hell did Guerin have sex with _you_ that’s worse than the middle of the desert?”

Michael chokes a little on his beer, throwing in an affronted “Hey!” when Alex looks like he’s about to start listing off places. He tries to shush both of them, but everyone else has apparently been distracted from their own conversations and the attention has now been reverted on them.

Isobel raises an eyebrow at him and he suddenly realizes – Max and Liz were with them in Texas when he and Maria hooked up, so they probably figured out what happened, but they’d never really bothered announcing it to anyone else. Isobel’s eyes shift to Max and they narrow a little when he shrugs. She sounds exasperated when she asks, “Has _everyone_ in this town slept with our brother?”

The room erupts at that. Alex and Maria cackle, Michael groans, Liz and Noah pipe up to say they sure haven’t (which earns them a simultaneous “thank God” from both Max and Isobel). The only silent ones are Jenna, who just shrugs, and Kyle, who’s shifting uncomfortably on his chair. Never one not to notice body language, Isobel widens her eyes and gapes for a moment, before she rounds on her brother.

“ _What_? Michael!”

Michael smiles sheepishly and runs a hand through his curls, not planning on saying anything, but then Alex pokes him in the side and gives him a look that clearly says _spill_ , and Michael opens his mouth to protest because who the hell would talk about their escapades in front of their boyfriend? Only Alex is looking at him like he’s enjoying this entirely too much, so Michael sighs and raises his beer to point at each person, starting with Jenna. “Met her at the Pony, probably two days after she moved? Fun times,” Jenna rolls her eyes at him and he grins, moving on to Kyle, “Super drunk hook up, maybe like four years back? I wasn’t even sure you’d remember, dude, honestly. A lot of fumbling.”

Beside him, Alex makes a barely concealed snorting sound, and Kyle glowers at them both. “Charming, Guerin, thank you.”

Michael shrugs again and turns to Maria, “What do you always call it? A dusty, no-good Texas rounder? I’m wounded, DeLuca, but that pretty much sums it up. And last but never least,” he pauses when his eyes fall on Alex; his whole expression softens and he tips his bottle at him, “Cosmic, decade-long romance that includes, among other things, epic sex. As I’m sure you all know.”

There are a couple of groans and a pointed retching sound that Michael is pretty sure comes from Isobel, but he doesn’t really care because Alex is blushing adorably and hiding his face in his shoulder. Michael presses a kiss to his boyfriend’s hair, and barely notices when the conversation eventually picks up again. After a minute, Alex lifts his head and smirks at Michael.

“Are you going to sleep with the rest of the town as well?”

Michael laughs softly, shifting so he can wrap both arms around Alex and tug him closer. “Nha. I’ve got all I need right here.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> michael and alex meet again at pride  
> (facts are treated very loosely, i know nothing about how america works)

Alex is in the base’s canteen picking at his lunch when the news about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell being repealed flash on the television. He snaps to attention when an excited yell raises from a corner of the room, and he immediately focuses on the small tv. His breath catches in his lungs and he sits there for the longest of moments, a wave of relief crashing into him full force. He’s only able to stop staring at the tv when someone claps him on the shoulder, and his attention is caught by one of his fellow airmen.

“Manes! You seeing this?” Williams asks with a grin on his face, his excitement spreading quickly to Alex, who still can’t do much more than nod. Technically, nobody knows about him, but in the months he’s been stationed here, he got to know these men, he’s connected with them, and with a few he found a particular link that is only ever there when you’re hiding the same secret – Williams is one of those. They exchange a few more words, and agree to meet again later that night.

When Alex walks into the rec room, it’s to find the rest of their little group all discussing something excitedly, speaking one over the other in their eagerness. He smiles from the door, enjoying the moment, before he moves to sit on the one free chair.

“Oh hey, Manes, you’re here!” Arnold says, clapping him on the back before he starts filling him in, “So we were thinking, Albuquerque Pride is only a few weeks away, and we might be able to get leave for the day, and we can- Are you ok?”

Alex swallows, trying to smile at his friends. “I – You guys want to go to Pride? Together?”

They all shrug at him, like it’s something obvious. Next to him, Williams pipes up, “You’ve never been? Not even before?”

Alex just shakes his head, fidgeting with the zip of his sweatshirt.

“It’s ok if you’re not ready, you know?” Arnold says gently, his hand still on Alex’s back.

“No, I –“ Alex sighs and shakes his head decidedly, “I want to. So, how are we getting there?”

The other men all grin at him when he looks up and Carver, the last guy in their group, claps his hands together. “Road trip!”

**

Alex still can’t quite believe he’s actually at Pride. He looks around in awe and he’s pretty sure he’s going to be overwhelmed by the sense of _freedom_ he’s feeling before the parade even starts. He can’t do much more than follow his friends through the crowd as they try to find a good spot. They’ve stopped at the entrance of a bar, debating whether to go in to get something to drink before the event, when Alex freezes and turns back towards the crowd. For a moment, he’s sure he’s dreaming. A large part of him agreed to come because he was pretty sure he wouldn’t meet anyone he knew, let alone _him_.

But no. The longer he stares, the more his mind catches up to the idea that he’s actually looking at Michael Guerin in the flesh, his arm around Isobel Evans’ shoulders as he laughs at something she said. Distantly, he can hear Williams call for him, but all he can focus on is how good Michael looks. He’s in a black tank top and simple Bermudas, a bi pride flag tied around his neck. Next to him, Isobel is wearing the same pride colors on her dress, and isn’t that something?

Williams finally comes up to him to shake him and ask if something is wrong, loudly calling his name, and that’s when Alex and Michael’s eyes lock together. All the air rushes out of Alex’s lungs and then he’s moving on autopilot, crashing into Michael’s open arms with a badly concealed sob, and he knows he’s clinging but he can’t really bring himself to care or stop.

“Alex?” Michael’s whisper is full of confusion, but he hugs him back anyway, giving him time to pull himself back together.

He lets Michael go after a moment, raising his head to meet his eyes, his cheeks coloring. “Hi.”

They stare at each other in awe for a second, and then both Isobel and Alex’s friends are loudly asking for introductions and explanations. Alex shrugs at the look on his friends’ faces and flashes a tiny, private smile at Michael before turning to Isobel.

“Hey, Isobel. I didn’t know you were-“

She waves him off and places her hands on her hips, her eyes flying between him and Michael. “Alex, it’s nice to see you, don’t get me wrong, but- what the _hell_ was that about?”

Alex blushes furiously, suddenly becoming very interested in his own shoes. Next to him, Michael clears his throat. “Iz, remember when we came out to each other?”

“Duh.”

“And I said something about a guy in high school and him being the reason I figured it out-“ Michael leaves the words hanging, and when Alex raises his head again he and Isobel are busy having a conversation with the sole use of their eyebrows. It takes a minute, but then Isobel breathes out a small _oh_.

Alex smiles sheepishly at her and shrugs. Then, Williams clears his throat pointedly, and he snaps to attention. “Right. Guys, this is Michael and Isobel. We went to high school together. Michael and I were…” he pauses, trying to find the best word, finally settling on a lame, “together. Michael, Isobel, this is John, Matt, and Zack,” he continues, pointing to Williams, Arnold and Carver in turn, “We serve together in the Air Force.”

It’s a surreal experience, to say the least, to watch as his two worlds clash together like this. His ex-almost-never-really-boyfriend and his sister shaking hands with his friends from the military. Alex feels something warm spread through him and it takes him a moment to recognize it as what it truly is – happiness. For the first time in a long, long time he’s actually, genuinely _happy_.

Isobel immediately starts a conversation with the three airmen, and Alex finds himself gravitating towards Michael again, burying his hands in the pockets of his jeans to prevent himself from reaching out. Turns out, he doesn’t have to worry, because Michael reaches out himself and tugs him close until their foreheads are touching.

“Two years,” he starts, his voice low and raw, “And this is how we meet? You’re full of surprises, Manes.”

Alex smiles, reaching up to cup Michael’s face. “A lot has changed, you know.” The words and the weight of their history together hang heavily between them for a second, before Alex continues, “And we should talk. But… I missed you.”

Alex feels Michael’s breath hitch, and between one breath and the next they’re kissing, like the past two years never happened, like they’re at the UFO Emporium in Roswell again, like they don’t have an audience that immediately make themselves heard.

When they separate, Alex is only vaguely aware of his friends wolf-whistling and cheering for him. His attention is all on Michael and on the huge grin on his face that he’s sure matches his own, even though they’ve both teared up a little. Michael takes a step back, only to clasp Alex’s hand in his and tangle their fingers together. “March with me?”

Instead of replying, Alex reaches up to Michael’s neck, disentangling the knot on the flag so he can wrap it around both of their shoulders, and then promptly grabs Michael’s hand again, his free hand firmly fisted in the flag’s fabric. They fall into step like that when the parade starts, Alex’s friends and Isobel following a few steps behind to give them something resembling privacy. Alex doesn’t let go of Michael’s hand all day.


	4. Chapter 4

The Pony is loud on a saturday night, and their booth especially is filled with excited talk and laughs after a hard week of work for all of them. Alex is snorting at something Kyle has said when Maria nudges him in the side with her elbow and juts her chin towards the door, her eyes wide in surprise.

When Alex turns, his mouth drops open and he barely hears his friends snickering at him. He doesn’t really care, because Michael has just walked in looking like a thousand dollars. He has a dark blue button up that is probably the nicest shirt he owns, black jeans tight as sin, his usual boots have been polished and where he normally wears his black cowboy hat, tonight he looks like he’s actually tried to wrestle his curls into some kind of order.

Alex feels parched and he can feel his jeans getting tighter by the second. He wets his lips just as Michael’s eyes focus on their group and he grins, sauntering over to them - and at least, Alex tells himself, that hasn’t changed - and drops a kiss to Alex’s lips as soon as he’s close enough.

“Hey guys,” he says easily, gesturing at Alex to scoot closer to Maria so he can sit on the bench.

“You look-“ Alex swallows, giving Michael another once over. Michael just raises an eyebrow at him, a playful glint in his eyes and a cocky grin on his lips. Alex frowns at him but settles into his side anyway. He pauses, turning his head into Michael’s neck and sniffing a little.

“What?” Michael shifts uncomfortably, reaching for Alex’s drink for a sip.

“Are you wearing cologne?” He sits straighter to watch as Michael drops his head and blushes, the girls awwwing and the guys chuckling a little around them.

“It’s just dollar store stuff,” Michael mumbles, shifting on the edge of the seat like he’s ready to bolt. Alex drops a hand on his thigh and moves closer with a grin.

“I like it,” he nods approvingly, pressing his lips to Michael’s ear so he can whisper only to him, “It’s sexy.”

He throws his head back and laughs when Michael blushes again and chokes on his drink.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more "roswell is a tiny town and we all know each other biblically" antics!

“This is weird. Isn’t this weird?” Isobel says into the comfortable silence that has settled over the room. All she gets back are questioning looks. “That every single person in this room has somehow been involved with each other?”

She stares back into each person’s blank face and sighs, rolling her eyes. It’s her role, she guesses, to bring revelations into the light. She crosses her legs gracefully and leans into Noah’s side before she starts her list.

“I’m married to Noah and have dated Maria, who’s slept with Michael, who’s now with Alex, who’s dated Kyle, who’s Liz’s ex. Liz is now dating Max, who had a fuckbuddies arrangement with Jenna, who’s now with Maria. This town really is tiny.”

There’s a split moment of silence before the room erupts into chaos. Everyone speaks over one another, apparently confused by one piece or another of Isobel’s list.

“Excuse me, rewind, you’ve dated DeLuca?” Michael gapes at her, at the same time that Liz turns to Kyle and Alex and asks, wide-eyed, “You two dated each other?” and that Max turns to Jenna and only gets as far as opening his mouth before she reaches for Maria’s hand, shrugs, and says, “Surprise?”

Meanwhile, Isobel settles back into her husband’s side and enjoys the scene after having shared an amused look with Maria. Noah, on his part, chuckles under his breath and presses a kiss to her temple. “You really didn’t have to make it that dramatic.”

“Oh, you know me. Drama is what I do best. And the evening was starting to feel too mild for my taste.” She does, however, sit up straight again when she notices Michael lean a little too close to Valenti, hand on his knee, while he listens to Alex explain something to Liz. She thought Michael didn’t like him at all.

Isobel narrows her eyes and stands, clearing her throat as soon as she’s close enough to her brother. Michael looks up sheepishly like he already knows what she’s about, but reaches boldly for Valenti’s hand, and Isobel is pretty sure her eyes are about to pop out of her head, they’re so wide. “What-” she starts, but Michael is quicker.

“When Alex and I were reconnecting, he was also doing a lot of reconnecting with Kyle. We all hung together sometimes. It was rough, at first, but y’know… One thing led to another.” He shrugs like he hasn’t just told the whole room that he’s in a polyamorous relationship. Alex and Kyle both chuckle under their breath and lean on Michael on both sides, stupidly fond smiles on all of their faces, and oh, how did Isobel not notice it sooner? As the room erupts into chaos again over the news, Isobel has to admit to herself that she probably isn’t the only one in the family who has a penchant for dramatic reveals.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i know, i know, i write michael sleeping with everyone in roswell way too much. sue me.  
> smallest hint to poly maria/michael/alex

In hindsight, Kyle shouldʼve known the conversation was going to take this turn, because his friends are terrible. Heʼs only asked the question out of pure curiosity because a lot of people in the group - apart from Alex and Maria - seem to be very familiar with Guerin, so it seems only fair to ask what the guy has that makes him so attractive. He expects something like his charme or his sarcasm, not this - _this_ being four heads that pop up with matching dirty grins and make him regret asking in the first place.

“Knows exactly what to do with his hands.” Liz starts easily.

“And his tongue,” Maria adds, winking at him. 

“And his dick.” Jenna finishes crudely, and the others hum in agreement.

“He also has a phenomenal ass,” Alex says, a beat late. He and Maria share a knowing smirk and okay, Kyle doesnʼt want to touch _that_ with a ten foot pole. He also deeply regrets telling Alex that he can handle boy talk with him, considering the disturbing amount of detail heʼs currently receiving concerning his friendʼs sex life. He’s sure Maria’s had some influence with that.

He sighs and drops his head to the back of the couch, defeated. “Anything else, other than the fact that heʼs apparently a sex god?”

“Whoʼs a sex god?” Speak of the devil, Michael himself chooses exactly that moment to walk into the cabin. He stops in his tracks when he notices their impromptu reunion. He seems to have come directly from work, if the grease stains on his sweaty white tshirt are anything to go by. Said tshirt is also clinging dangerously tight to his chest, and Maria makes sure they all notice that by wolf whistling at Michael. In response, he just rolls his eyes and takes off his boots and hat, moving further into the room so he can greet both Alex and Maria with a quick peck.

“Are you discussing our sex life again?” He asks, one eyebrow arched at his boyfriend before he moves to the kitchen in search of food.

“Hmm, no, just yours,” Alex says easily, smirking at Michael when he comes back with a frown on his face. Alex gestures in the direction of the couch and adds, “Kyle asked.”

“I did _not_!” Kyle sputters, jamming a finger in Alex’s direction. Michael just tilts his head at him and considers him for a second, then shrugs and says easily, “Y’know, Valenti, all you have to do is ask if you wanna know. I’m gonna take a shower.” That said, he turns on his heels and exits the room.

The door to the bedroom has barely clicked shut before everyone in the room starts howling with laughter. Everyone, that is, but Kyle, who’s staring wide eyed at the spot Michael just vacated. And if his mind is going places, well, he’s only human.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> malex celebrity au

“They call you Malex.”

“Uh? Who?” Michael looks up from where he’s reading over the script to help Alex run his lines later to look at his sister. Isobel doesn’t even look up from her phone.

“The fans. It’s your ship name.”

“Our what now?”

From where he’s sitting, back propped against the arm of the couch and his feet in Michael’s lap, Alex chuckles and shakes his head when Isobel raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, clearly stating _you’re a troglodyte_. So sue him, he doesn’t do well with social media, what about it?

“It’s how they call the two of us. Michael and Alex equals Malex,” Alex explains when it’s clear Isobel isn’t going to.

“We’ve announced it _a day ago_ ,” Michael says, frowning.

“Oh, you sweet summer child, you have no idea what the world of fangirls is like.” Isobel reaches over to pat him on the head, which wins her a glare from Michael.

“I think it’s a cute name,” Alex says with a shrug. He goes right back to highlighting his lines in the script.

“You only have to make sure you don’t break up in the near future,” Isobel adds cheerfully.

“Jeez, thanks, Iz.” Michael shudders at the idea. Sure, they haven’t had the smoothest course in their relationship, but they’ve been going strong for a year now, even with Alex’s multiple engagements with both tv and movies and Michael being on tour so often. Making their relationship public was a major step for both of them, and they’d been nervous wrecks about it, but it seems to have all worked out for now. And if both of their fan bases have already given them as an item a name, it must mean they’re being supportive, right?

Michael snaps out of his internal monologue when Isobel waves a hand in front of his face, which Michael promptly smacks away.

“What?”

“She asked if you want something from the café,” Alex replies for Isobel, without looking up from the script. Michael just shakes his head and settles back into the couch, hand curling around Alex’s shin. 

From the door, Isobel yells, “Bye, Malex!” 

“Don’t call us that!” Michael yells back. Alex chuckles again, and squirms away with a squeal when Michael pokes a finger at the sole of his foot in revenge. When Isobel comes back from the bar ten minutes later, she rolls her eyes at finding them in a giggly heap on the floor, scripts discarded and eyes still watery from their tickle fight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Would you look at that? Anger does fuel me + malex

Being held at gunpoint is becoming a habit for Michael and he’s starting to genuinely hate it. He’s currently staring down the barrel of Jesse Manes’ gun as the man delivers yet another of his deranged monologues on aliens being monsters who eat children or whatever – Michael stopped listening after the first sentence, which was something along the lines of “you will pay for corrupting my son”, and he has to focus all his willpower on not blurting out that it was actually Alex that had made the first move, thank you very much. He’s not really in the mood to get shot today.

His undivided attention is on the gun. He keeps his powers ready, body coiled tight, so that he can react as soon as the trigger is pulled, because he knows it will be, eventually. That is why he doesn’t notice the figure creeping up behind the Master Sergeant. He only snaps his gaze to it when he sees the flash of movement of a metal rod being slammed into Manes’ head, and then the man is collapsing to reveal Alex standing behind him, panting.

Michael stares at him, wide-eyed. After a second spent making sure that Manes isn’t going to stand back up, Alex turns to look at Michael, a self-satisfied smirk on his face. “Would you look at that?” he says, still a little breathless, “Turns out anger does fuel me.”

An incredulous laugh rips itself from Michael’s chest, and then he’s stepping over Manes’ body to throw himself into Alex’s arms. He buries his face into the crook of Alex’s neck and gives himself permission to just breathe for a second. Alex just holds him, steady and firm and real, lets him take his time for as long as they can manage. When it’s clear to him that Michael isn’t going to snap out of it on his own, he nudges him gently and gives him a smile when their eyes meet.

“C’mon. Let’s get you out of here.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: You stood up for me + Malex

Alex watches as Michael glares at Kyle as he walks past him to get to the prison’s entrance. He bites his lower lip and presses down on the warm feeling that has been spreading in his chest since Michael asked why Kyle was here. When he walks up to Michael’s side, the other man is still staring at Kyle’s back with a frown.

“Hey.” Alex reaches shyly for his hand, squeezing it gently. Michael’s eyes shoot up to his in surprise. “Thank you, for standing up for me. You didn’t have to, but thank you.”

Michael’s features soften at that and he gives a single nod, fingers tightening around Alex’s for a second. “Of course. Always.”

Michael drops his hand, but he’s still looking into Alex’s eyes, and Alex finds himself blushing under the attention, his breath catching in his throat – it’s always overwhelming, having Michael’s eyes watching him, always so intense and charged. And to think, before today, he believed Michael would’ve never looked at him this way again. He has to avert his eyes after a moment, tension building between them. With Michael’s eyes no longer holding him captive, he feels like he can breathe again. He clears his throat before speaking again.

“You sure you wanna do this?” He does a poor job of concealing the concern in his voice, he knows, but they have no idea what they’re walking into here, and he wishes he could protect Michael from whatever they’re going to find inside the prison, be it other aliens, more information, or nothing at all.

When Alex looks back up at Michael, he gets no reply. They hold each other’s gaze for a second, and then Michael is moving, confidence in his step even though Alex can see the way his shoulders bunch up with tension. He sighs and steels himself before following him into the prison.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: you did what? + malex

“Guerin?” Alex’s voice drifts down into the bunker from the open hatch. Michael doesn’t bother with a reply because he can already hear Alex coming down the ladder, so he simply keeps shoving stuff into a trash bag.

“What are you doing? Where’s your research?” Alex asks when he clears the last step.

“Threw it out.”

“You did _what_?”

“I threw it out, Alex.” Michael turns and gives the bag in his hand a little shake to prove his point.

“What? Why?” Alex frowns worriedly, stepping forward to take the bag from Michael’s hand and place it down on the table gently.

“Won’t be of much help to me, considering my home planet is apparently an apocalyptic landscape by now and whatever family I might have had out there has been blown up.”

His face betrays no emotion, a blank slate. Alex is the opposite, flinching visibly at the words. “This is your life’s work, Michael, I-“

“Don’t.” Michael forces out between gritted teeth. “Don’t tell me how to grieve.”

Alex holds his gaze for a moment, jaw clenched against the rebuttal that Michael is sure wants to leave his lips. They both know they’re a hair’s breadth away from a screaming match, and they both also know exactly how much that could hurt. So Alex sighs and nods. He takes a step back and reaches for Michael’s hand, smiling sadly when Michael doesn’t recoil from the touch.

“Okay. What can I do for you, then? How can I help?”

“Just- Can you just-“ Michael stutters around the words, unable to ask properly. It’s a statement to how well Alex knows him that he nods again, tugging at his hand until Michael is following him to the cot pushed up against one of the walls of the bunker. He lets Alex push him to lie down, goes willingly when Alex moves him so that he’s on his side facing the wall and Alex’s body is curling into his from behind.

After having spent three days in an angry haze, the tenderness of the moment seems to be what finally makes Michael come undone. With Alex pressed up against him, he lets himself cry. He sobs, face pressed into the bed as Alex holds him silently, his hands never leaving Michael’s body, never stopping their soothing movements. He presses a kiss at the nape of Michael’s neck and murmurs gentle words into his hair until Michael calms down enough to turn and face him.

“I don’t-“ Michael starts, eyes puffy and wet from the tears still rolling down his cheeks. “Why are you doing this? I don’t deserve this.”

“You do,” Alex says softly, thumb brushing away the tears. “You always have.”

Michael shakes his head, a fresh wave of tears spilling from his eyes. “I don’t- I don’t, it’s my fault. They’re all dead and it’s my fault.”

“Michael, look at me.” Alex cups Michael’s face in his hands, impossibly gentle. He makes sure that Michael’s eyes are on his before he continues, “It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. Your fault. You tried to save them, you did your best.”

Michael lets out a shaky exhale. Alex can tell he still doesn’t trust those words to be true, but he nods, and that’s enough for now. Alex shifts so that he’s lying down on his back, Michael half on top of him, his head tucked under Alex’s chin.

Alex presses a kiss to Michael’s forehead and then to his hair, fingers combing through the unruly curls in a way that leaves Michael boneless under the touch. They don’t say anything else. Alex doesn’t comment on the fact that his shirt his wet where Michael’s face is, nor on the way Michael presses into his touch with a broken sound that makes his heart clench. He just keeps touching Michael as much as he can, quietly supportive, until Michael falls asleep from exhaustion. For a brief moment before drifting to sleep himself, Alex is aware of the fact that his body will scream at him for days for sleeping on the cramped cot when he wakes up, but he pushes the thought aside and closes his eyes. He’ll think about that in the morning.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: You’re worth it & It’s not that easy + malex  
> brief michael/maria at the beginning

Kissing Maria is nice – peaceful, even. Michael kisses Maria and his mind is quiet. There’s none of the roaring pain and lust and chaos that always comes with kissing Alex. It’s only when the thought crosses his mind that he draws back. Maria looks up at him like she knows exactly what he’s thinking.

“I’m sorry,” he says, stuttering a little. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.”

She smiles sadly at him, but nods. “Alex?”

“Yeah,” he breathes out. He wipes a hand over his face, trying to collect his thoughts. Where only moments before his brain had been silent, now it’s whirring, working in overdrive. He wants a fresh start. He wants to be able to put the past behind him, and move on. But can he?

“Guerin.” Maria’s voice brings him back to the present, back into focus. He opens his mouth to apologize again, but she shakes her head and holds a hand up. “I know. I can feel it. It’s – I’m not gonna say it’s ok, I can’t, not yet. But you need to go to him.”

“Maria, I’m-“

“I know,” she says again, impossibly soft. The sad smile is still on her lips and he bites down on yet another apology, his heart clenching at the pain he’s causing her. In the end he just nods, moving forward to press a kiss to her forehead in gratitude. He’s out of the bar before either of them can break down.

*

He goes through at least four speeches in his head as he drives back to the junkyard, praying Alex will be there. He’s late, so late, even though they hadn’t even set an hour. He can feel, deep in his guts, that Alex is waiting for him – has been, for some time. He sighs in relief as he parks the truck. Alex is here – waiting, still. Hope crashes into him, radiates through his body. Michael takes a moment to breathe, eyes closed and head resting against the steering wheel, before he hops down from the truck.

Alex doesn’t look up, not until Michael is standing right in front of him. His shoulders are bunched tight under the leather jacket and he’s breathing in and out slowly, like he’s talking himself through a panic attack. Michael knows the feeling. Without Alex’s eyes on him, it feels a little easier to gather the courage to start talking.

“I’m sorry I’m late,” is the first thing he says. It’s enough to make Alex look up. His eyes are red rimmed and a little puffy and the sight makes Michael’s heart ache. It takes one look from Alex, and the dam breaks. Words rush out of Michael like waves, truth after truth after truth.

First, “I kissed Maria. I wanted – I _wanted_ to want her. God, Alex, I wanted it so badly. Max told me to stop looking in the rearview mirror, that the past doesn’t have to define me, and I want to believe him. That’s why I went to Maria – it would be so easy, with her. No memories, no pain attached, just a new beginning. But I don’t want easy.”

Then, “I know I’ve disappointed you, and it makes me sick. I wish I could say I didn’t want to hurt you, but maybe I did, a little. And fuck, we’re so good at that, aren’t we? I’m – Alex, I’m a fucking mess. I hurt people, and I push them away, before they can. You were right, you know? I always give you excuses to walk away because truth is, I know I don’t deserve you.”

Alex stands at that, so fast it takes a moment for him to find his balance. Michael shoots a hand out like he wants to make sure he’ll stay on his feet, but he doesn’t touch him, not yet, doesn’t let himself hope that Alex will accept it. His hands clench around nothing as he watches the tears gather at the corners of Alex’s eyes. He still hasn’t said a word, so Michael keeps going.

“I don’t want to focus on the pain anymore. I don’t want to look back on the moments we shared and only see the bad in it. I’ve already lived ten years in resentment, and I’m – I’m _exhausted_ , Alex. I’m so tired of pushing you away, when all I’ve ever wanted is to be with you. I’m such an idiot, you know?” He laughs a little at himself, taking a step towards Alex. “Thinking I could be with anyone else, when I’ve been stalling for a decade. Because the truth is, I’ve never wanted anyone else.”

Alex’s breath hitches when Michael’s resolve finally breaks and he reaches for him. His hands twist in the leather of the jacket’s lapels, feeling it creak under the touch. He inhales slowly, not moving any further. He keeps talking, words still spilling out of his mouth, torrential.

“I know it’s not that easy. I need to work through some shit, and so do you. I’ll need to take things slow. But God, Alex, you’re worth it. You’re worth every moment of it. And I’m here, if you’ll have me.”

Alex lets out a laugh, half choked by the tears spilling from his eyes and down his cheeks – tears Michael hurries to wipe away. From that first point of skin on skin contact, he can’t stop touching Alex. He runs his fingers over Alex’s cheeks, down his neck, into his hair as he feels Alex nod.

“Yeah?” he asks, tentatively, his forehead pressing against Alex’s only to feel him nod again, words lost to the sob escaping his mouth. When they kiss, it’s salty from the tears wetting both of their faces, and soft in a way it never has been before.

It’s only here, with Alex pressed up against him and holding him close, that the hurricane raging inside of Michael finally stops. His mind doesn’t go quiet – it never is, around Alex – but the whirlwind of emotions inside of him slows, untangles. Reveals what’s underneath, what has always been hiding beneath the mess – the love that shines through it all.

He pulls back from Alex to finally get a proper look at him. His breath catches in his throat when he takes in Alex’s outfit he’d been too distracted to notice before – the tight jeans, the sweater, the leather jacket. His mouth suddenly dries at the sight and he has to physically step back so he doesn’t drag Alex in the trailer – that’d be counterproductive, considering he’s just asked to take things slow.

“You dressed up for me?” he asks softly, a smile spreading on his face. Alex shifts awkwardly, cheeks adorably flushed as he shrugs. Michael pulls him into a hug, laughing. “I’m sorry I was late. You look stunning, darling.”

“If you want to take it slow, you can’t say shit like that.” Alex smiles at him, though the hurt isn’t quite gone from his eyes. Michael knows they’ll have to work hard, that a few stuttered words followed by a little flirting isn’t going to cut it this time. But, he tells himself as Alex cups his face in his hands, drawing him into another kiss, it’s a start.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: two miserable people meeting at a wedding au + malex  
> mild smut

Max is pacing and it’s driving Michael crazy. Ten minutes in, he finally decides to put his hands on his brother’s shoulders and pin him in place. “Will you stop? You’re giving me a headache.”

“What if she doesn’t show up?” Max’s voice is high and panicked and Michael would laugh, but he knows Max is genuinely worried, so he just smiles at him and pats him gently.

“She’s just fashionably late, Max.” As if on cue, Isobel runs into the chapel and gestures at them to take their positions. Michael grins at Max and gives him one more pat before taking his place behind his brother. He sways a little to the music when it starts and grins when Liz appears in the door way, Arturo by her side.

The ceremony starts and Michael immediately tunes out the priest’s words, choosing instead to focus on the stunning man standing behind Liz. He’d noticed him before, when he had entered the church, but Max had been such a tight ball of nerves that he hadn’t had the time to look at him properly. He knows, from the hours and hours he had to spend with Isobel while she was planning the wedding, that his name is Alex, and that he’s recently come back to Roswell after suffering an injury in combat while in the Air Force. Michael finds himself staring at the curve of his jaw and at his full lips, and has to look away quickly when Alex’s eyes meet his and an eyebrow is raised at him. Michael recovers just in time to absolve his role of handing the rings to the couple, but his cheeks are still flushed when he steps back. He avoids looking at Alex for the rest of the ceremony.

He flees to the bar as soon as they’re done with group pictures. He’s two drinks in when someone taps him on the shoulder, and he almost chokes when he turns around to face Alex, Liz at his side.

“There’s the bride herself,” Michael says, trying to get his grin back. “What’s up?”

“I wanted to introduce Alex,” Liz says, placing a hand on the man’s arm. Alex is all smiles as he extends his arm for Michael to shake.

“Hi. Michael, right?”

“Uh. Yeah.” He shakes his hand and tries not to flinch at how clammy his own hand is.

“I’ll leave you two to get acquainted,” Liz says cheerfully, and Michael frowns when she winks at him from behind Alex’s back. What the hell is she trying to do?

When Michael focuses back on him, Alex is busying himself with trying to get the bartender’s attention, so he lets himself look again. This close, he can see the little scar on Alex’s forehead, the hole of an old piercing in his ear, the exact shade of Alex’s eyes. Michael has to force himself to look away again before he does something stupid like reach out and touch Alex.

They sit together for a while, easing in and out of small talk. When they eventually lapse into amicable silence, Michael is so busy staring into the depths of his drink that he completely misses Alex getting his own fair share of staring. It’s not until he’s downed his drink and he’s standing up to head to the table that he notices the look in Alex’s eyes. It’s heated and unmistakable, and it leaves Michael feeling hot all over. It just takes him a small nod towards the entrance to move Alex into action. He takes Michael’s hand and drags him out of the reception hall. When he gets where he’s being dragged off to, Michael lets out a small chuckle.

“The closet, really?” Michael barely has time to get the words out before he’s being spun around and pressed again the door. His breath catches in his throat and then Alex is kissing him, hungry and demanding. They kiss and kiss until they’re out of breath. Alex finally draws back, only to dive down to kiss down Michael’s throat, which makes him groan and drop his head back against the door with a breathy little laugh.

“What?” Alex mutters, following it with a nip to Michael’s neck.

“I can’t believe I’m such a cliché. Hooking up with the best man in the cloak room at my brother’s wedding.”

That makes Alex pause and put some space between them. Michael is glad, because his head was starting to whirl with thoughts of Alex under him, on top of him, _in_ him, and he has to focus hard to actually hear what Alex is saying.

“Do you want this?” Alex whispers, cupping Michael’s cheeks in his hands, and Michael loses his train of thought entirely.

“Yeah.” He nods for good measure, and tugs Alex close so he can kiss him again. He lets Alex take over easily, helps him get both of their jackets and shirts off. It’s not until Alex moves his hands inside his pants to squeeze Michael’s ass that Michael draws back with a groan.

“I really want you to fuck me.”

“Yeah?” Alex says, low and throaty, still busy with Michael’s pants.

“Hm-hm. Don’t have any lube or condoms though.” That makes Alex pause, his hands stilling where they’ve undone Michael’s belt and popped the button in his pants. He drops his head against Michael’s shoulder with a groaning sound of his own, which makes Michael instantly aware of the fact that he doesn’t have the mentioned items, either. They both stand still for a minute, just breathing, and then Michael is tugging Alex’s head up with a hand buried in his hair. He looks into Alex’s eyes to get confirmation that they’re still on the same page, and then he grins and drops to his knees.

“Fuck,” Alex is already moaning just from the visual, so Michael makes quick work of his pants and underwear. He swallows a little whimper when he sees Alex’s cock, already hard and wet at the head, and he wastes no time getting his mouth on him. He works his tongue around the head and gets his hand around the base before he starts bobbing his head. When he looks up at Alex, he flushes at the expression on his face – his eyes closed and his lips parted, high keening sounds leaving his mouth. It makes him pause for a second, but then Alex’s hands bury themselves in his curls and guide him back to his cock, and Michael is only too happy to oblige. It doesn’t take long for Alex to warn him, but Michael only doubles his efforts and swallows enthusiastically when Alex comes down his throat.

He’s shifting on his knees, trying to get his breath back, when Alex tugs him up by his curls and unceremoniously shoves a hand down his pants, making Michael moan at the first skin on skin contact.

“Fuck, you’re so hot,” Alex is mumbling against his throat, and Michael would thank him, but he’s a little busy trying not to come too quickly because then Alex not only tightens his hold on Michael’s cock, but also starts whispering low and dirty in his ear, and it makes Michael lose his mind a little.

“I wanna take you home with me” – deft fingers playing at the head – “Want to open you up until you beg for me” – teasing down his shaft and to his balls, and then further – “I bet you’d beg so prettily for me, darling” – trailing back up and wrapping around his cock again – “Will you come for me?” – hot white pleasure exploding behind Michael’s eyelids, and he has to slap a hand over his mouth so he doesn’t scream. When he opens his eyes again, boneless and sated, Alex is licking his cum off his hand with the same dirty grin he’s had on his lips for the past half hour.

Michael flushes and has to look away. He busies himself with getting dressed, trying to find the words. He gets a look at his wrist watch as he’s buttoning his cuffs and swears.

“What?” When he chances a look, Alex is also completely dressed again, and is studying him.

“I’m supposed to give my best man speech in five minutes.” Alex’s eyes widen, and if the fucked out look he’s sporting right now mirrors Michael’s, there’s a good chance that the whole wedding party is going to know what they’ve been up to. As if on cue, there comes knocking on the door that makes both men jump.

“Alex? You in there?” Maria’s voice comes from the other side. Michael and Alex shared a panicked look for a second and then dissolve into laughter.

“You go first,” Michael says when he’s collected himself, a stupid grin still playing at his lips. Alex nods and moves to the door. At the last moment, Michael catches his arm to stop him. “Will you go out with me?”

Alex turns, gives Michael a pleased once over which doesn’t actually match with the shy smile on his lips, and nods his head. He waits for Michael to nod back, and then he’s slipping out of the door, leaving Michael feeling all sorts of warm inside.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post finale, alex is living his best gay life. and michael? michael pines.

“Wait, wait, back up a second,” Liz waves her drink at Alex, interrupting him, “Go back to the first one.”

Alex sighs, eyes closing for a second. He ignores the snicker coming from Maria and starts listing off again, counting on his fingers. “There are two main categories, bears and twinks. Bears are usually also divided into-“

“What are you guys talking about?” Alex freezes at Michael’s voice, shaking his head once at Liz and Maria to signal for them to shut up.

Of course, Liz ignores him outright and scoots over in the booth so Michael can sit. “Alex is teaching us about gay culture.”

“Oh, is he?” Michael smirks, head tilting to the side. Alex glares at him.

“Yup,” Liz says, turning back to Alex, “So which type do you fit in?”

“Oh he’s a twink,” Michael says before Alex can even open his mouth.

“ _You’re_ a twink!” Alex can’t help himself. It comes out way too loudly and startles Maria and Liz into a bout of laughter. Michael simply arches an eyebrow at him, thoroughly unimpressed, and gives him a self-satisfied smirk when Alex blushes under the attention.

“Whatever,” he says after a second, pushing Maria out of the booth so he can get out. “I have a date to get to.”

He waves at them and Michael stares after him as he walks out of the bar. “Another?” The word is out of his mouth before he can think better of it.

Liz shrugs. “He’s- how did he put it?”

“Living his best gay life,” Maria fills in. There’s a knowing look on her face as she studies Michael that makes him shift uncomfortably. Things have been going well between them after they both agreed to call it quits. Their relationship had been short lived, but fun and easy, and they still enjoy each other’s company as often as they can. All in all, Michael knows he can’t complain. Still, she knows him way too well.

“Right,” he says after a second, clearing his throat. Both Liz and Maria have been very enthusiastic about recounting Alex’s numerous dates as of late. Michael just bites down on his tongue and lets them ramble and pick apart the latest flame, because that’s apparently how best friends work. He rarely contributes, even when they ask his opinion as only other queer guy in their friend group. He knows better than to get himself involved in speculation over Alex’s love life.

*

“Alex, hey, I forgot to ask- how did it go with Mark?” Michael looks up from his beer to follow the conversation. Kyle is currently looking expectantly at a dumbfounded Alex.

“Who’s- _Ah_ , right.” Alex flushes a little at Kyle’s pointedly raised eyebrows. “He was alright, I guess. Last week’s news, though.”

Michael suddenly becomes very interested in the list of ingredients on his beer. It’s not that he’s not happy for Alex and his new found sexual prowess, per se. A big part of him is proud of him for having gotten there. But another, love sick side of him, the one that whispers in his ear at night after he’s back in his airstream after watching Alex walk away with his nightly hook up, wishes that that could be him. He’s not, and he can’t, because he was too late and Alex has moved on, as he deserves.

“What’s up with you?” Kyle asks after he’s been silent for a while. Michael focuses back on the table only to see that Alex has moved to the bar, where some guy is whispering in his ear and making him laugh, head thrown back. Michael frowns.

“Nothing.”

“Guerin.”

Michael groans and lets his head drop on the table with a thud. He doesn’t know exactly when Kyle became someone he trusted enough to rant to about his love life, but apparently that’s where his life’s at.

“You can just say you’re jealous, you know. We all know, anyway.”

Michael snaps his head up and sputters, “Wha- I’m not- That’s not- I’m not jealous! And, frankly, who’s saying that you’re not jealous, hm? You’ve been spending an awful lot of time together and- and- Yeah, maybe it’s you who’s jealous, actually. Checkmate, Valenti.”

Kyle levels him with the most unimpressed stare Michael’s ever being on the receiving end of, and he’s friends with Maria DeLuca. “Sure, whatever you say, Guerin.” He gets a pat on the shoulder and then Kyle is off, leaving Michael to stare mournfully at the spot where Alex has just disappeared from with the new guy.

*

“Dude, I’m telling you, it was amazing.”

Michael looks up in confusion, giving the table a cursory glance. No one of his friends is paying him or the guy next to him any attention, so he guesses it’s him the guy is talking to. “Uh, who are you again?”

“John.”

“Right,” Michael drawls, going right back to his beer. Alex’s latest conquest. This one’s lasted a couple of nights, apparently, because otherwise the guy wouldn’t bother talking to him. He doesn’t remember being introduced, but he’s found that not focusing too hard on the faces of the men circling Alex these days is what helps most.

“He did this _thing_ , with his tongue, I swear-“

Michael flinches at that and mutters around the rim of his beer bottle, “Oh, I remember the _thing_.”

The guy – John, his mind supplies helpfully – gives him a look that translates into _aren’t you two friends though_ , to which Michael shrugs. He’s not about to explain their whole history to someone who’ll last no more than a week on Alex’s arm. He just ignores the guy until he eventually leaves him alone to his moping.

*

“So, Liz and I were thinking of maybe trying to ask Max to check on my mom, you know- hey, are you listening to me?”

“Uh? Yeah, of course,” Michael nods along to what Maria is saying, but his eyes are fixed on the door, where Alex has just walked in, hand in the back pocket of some handsome stranger.

“God, you really need to get over that.”

“Hm? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He swivels on his stool to face her, though thanks to the mirror hanging behind Maria he can still see the booth where Alex sits.

“You’re pathetic.” Maria swats at him with the rag she’s using to dry glasses and ignores his pout. “Just talk to him, jeez.”

“Yeah, see, that’s kinda where the problem lies.” Maria rolls her eyes at him and goes back to clearing glasses off the counter.

“You’re not subtle, Guerin,” she says after a moment, “Literally everyone knows how you feel but Alex, because he’s oblivious and busy trying to fuck his way through all of Roswell, and you’re too stubborn and chicken shit to _say_ anything.”

He frowns at her but it doesn’t deter her. She points a finger at him, which makes him gulp. “Get. Your shit. Together. I’m done watching you pine. Ah!” She raises her hand when he opens his mouth to interject, “Nope. First chance you get, you’re telling him.”

She gives him one last look and moves on to other patrons, leaving him to stare sadly into the mirror to follow Alex’s date. He’s apparently graduated from town slut to town creeper. Fantastic.

*

“And then, I swear to God, he spanked me.” Alex tells the story with his hands more than with his words, gesturing wildly. Michael never wants to take his eyes off of him, but at the same time his brain is supplying the wrong images and he’s finding it increasingly harder to concentrate. He clears his throat, unable to keep looking.

“That’s- um. How was it?” He tries, wincing at his own lame attempt at conversation. He’s trying hard, he swears, to be a good friend for Alex, but it’s a little hard when the man he’s in love with has suddenly grown comfortable in recounting his sexual escapades to him.

“I didn’t hate it.” Alex gives him a dirty smirk that makes Michael’s entire body flush. That’s – nice to know, he guesses. It’s cool, really, that Alex has grown out of his shame. Not that Michael expected the enthusiasm, or that he can handle the numerous flirty lines Alex slips in there with more and more frequence.

“So, how’s it going with Maria?” Alex asks. The change of topic almost gives Michael whiplash, not to mention Alex’s purposefully casual tone.

“Oh, um. We broke up, like a month ago.”

“What?” Alex sits up straighter, beer forgotten to the side.

“Yeah, we’re better as friends anyway. We’re good.”

“Oh.” Alex frowns. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Michael opens and closes his mouth around at least three answers, before finally settling on, “You were a little busy.”

That makes Alex blush, but he doesn’t latch on the bait. “We see each other every two days, you could’ve mentioned it.”

“I-“ Michael starts. He shifts, thumbnail fidgeting with the label of his beer. “I didn’t think you’d care.”

“ _Michael_ ,” Alex says, admonishingly.

“Look, it’s cool, ok? I’m good, and you’re doing great, apparently, with all these dates. We don’t have to discuss me.”

“Yes, we _do_.” Alex sighs after a second, hand reaching across the table to catch Michael’s. “We’re friends. And friends share life updates. This isn’t a one-sided conversation.”

Michael looks into Alex’s eyes, finally, and swallows before whispering, “What if I don’t want to be friends anymore?”

Alex’s hand retreats immediately, hurt flashing across his features, but Michael is quick to grab it right back. “I mean- shit, sorry. I meant _just_ friends.”

Alex looks at him, clearly uncertain, so Michael takes a deep breath and soldiers on, “I don’t want to hear about all your one night stands. Not because I don’t care about your life, but because I’m jealous,” he hears Alex inhale sharply at that, but he doesn’t stop, “I’m jealous of whoever gets to kiss you, and hold your hand, and dance with you, and f-“ He snaps his mouth shut, eyes falling to his hands still clutching Alex’s.

“I’ve been such an idiot, Alex. I thought that because of all the shit we’d been through, that loving you and being with you wasn’t worth the pain. But it was, it _is_.”

Alex licks his lips and shifts so his head his closer to Michael’s. “What are you saying, Guerin?”

“I’m _saying_ I want to be with you. I want to take you out and introduce you as my boyfriend, I want to overshare about our sex life just to make our friends uncomfortable. I want to kiss you, and hold you, and make love to you, and fall asleep next to you.”

“Yeah?” Alex’s voice comes out a little choked, but he’s smiling widely.

“Yeah.” Michael nods, squeezing Alex’s fingers in his own. “So what do you say?”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: You’re seriously like a man-child + mylex  
> sort of sequel to my other mylex fics ([here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18535591) and [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18607510))

Kyle is home for all of five seconds before he realizes something’s wrong. Michael is slumped on the couch, still in sweatpants and one of Alex’s old Air Force tshirts, when he’s supposed to be wearing the perfectly ironed button up and slacks that Isobel had sent in yesterday. Alex is sitting next to him, hand on his knee as he whispers gently in his ear – he, at least, seems to be ready.

“Why aren’t you dressed?” Kyle frowns as he drops his keys and bag on the coffee table and joins them on the couch. Alex raises his head to meet Kyle’s eyes and – _what the hell_ , Kyle thinks. There’s an amused glint there that doesn’t make any sense with the situation.

“Michael’s freaking out,” Alex provides helpfully.

“I am _not_ freaking out,” Michael bites back. “I’m just saying – I’m not going.”

“It’s our engagement party, Michael, we have to go,” Kyle says patiently as he gets his shoes off and relaxes back into the couch. The party is, of course, Isobel’s idea, though they’d tried to dissuade her. Still, until this morning, Michael had seemed excited at the prospect.

“I said I’m not going! It’s not like we’re actually getting married, anyway,” Michael mutters, arms crossed over his chest. Kyle sighs and reaches a hand over to squeeze Alex’s hand when he notices the hurt look flashing over his features.

“Guerin, you’re seriously acting like a man-child right now. We’ve talked about this – we’re exchanging vows and rings and having a ceremony. Who gives a fuck if it’s legally recognized it or not?”

“I know. ‘m sorry,” Michael says under his breath, all animosity lost. He looks so young and scared, it breaks Kyle’s heart. He sighs again and moves closer to his boyfriend – _fiancé_ , he has to remind himself – slipping a hand into his curls and grinning when he feels him relax under his touch.

“Talk to me, Guerin.”

“I- I just- your _moms_ are gonna be there,” Michael honest to God whines, head buried in his hands.

Ah, Kyle thinks. Now, that does make sense. Kyle smiles and presses a kiss to Michael’s hair, bringing him even closer. On Michael’s other side, Alex lets him take the lead, though he doesn’t take his hand off of Michael’s leg.

“You’ve already met my mom,” Kyle says under his breath, lips grazing Michael’s ear. He grins when he hears the sharp inhale of air Michael takes, and gladly continues to touch him any way he can, knowing that when Michael gets like this, he needs the physical contact like he needs air.

“Yeah, and she _hates_ me. She thinks I’m a criminal.”

“Technically-“ Alex starts, only for Michael to whip his head up – narrowly avoiding cracking his skull against Kyle’s nose – and glare at him. Alex mimics locking his lips shut.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Kyle says, throwing a sour look of his own to Alex that clearly states _not helping_. He hooks his chin on Michael’s shoulder and continues, “She knows you’ve changed. And she really wants to meet you.” 

It’s true. Since he graduated UNM and started on a path to a doctorate, he’s found a job as consultant to the Air Force in Roswell – after deeming it safe enough with Jesse Manes out of the picture. Kyle is pretty sure that Alex’s influence only played a minor part in Michael getting the job, but what counts is that he’s doing well for himself, and he’s still working hard on bettering himself even more. Kyle has gladly reported all of his achievements to his mom, always happy to gush over his boyfriends, and she seemed genuinely surprised and eager to be officially introduced.

“Same for mine,” Alex mutters.

“Yeah?” Michael asks, voice small and young. There’s a tentative but hopeful smile on his lips that makes Kyle’s heart melt.

“Yeah, babe.” He lets the nickname slip only to see Michael roll his eyes at him, which means he’s calmed down enough to pick up on their banter again. Kyle disentangles his body from Michael’s long enough to stand, then reaches for Michael’s hand to drag him to his feet and into the bedroom.

“C’mon, change. I’ll take a shower, but I want you ready by the time I’m out.”

*

The party, as Kyle had predicted, doesn’t turn out to be nearly as bad as Michael had expected. It’s held at the Wild Pony in an effort to make it more comfortable and familiar for the three of them – Isobel had only put up a _small_ fight, but had let up pretty early on, mainly because she was now dating the owner of said establishment and Maria had given her a _look_.

Also predictably, at least from Kyle’s point of view, both his mom and Alex’s end up loving Michael. The two women take one look at him, dressed up and with his hair combed and tamed, then at the three of them together, and nodded their approval to each other. Then, of course, Michael proceeded to chat them up and totally won them over, which in turn made both Alex and Kyle a little weak in the knees.

For the rest of the night, Kyle is content to hang back in a booth with Alex as he they each catch up with their moms, while Michael takes on the role of entertainer. Kyle keeps an eye on him as he bounces between checking in with Liz, hand on her bump and grin on his face as he winks over at Max, playing pool with Isobel and Maria, and circling back to them to periodically hold a conversation with the two mother-in-laws-to-be. Kyle knows that he needs to let out the pent up nervous energy he’s built up during the day, so he just leans back again Alex and nurses his drink, heart doing all kind of somersaults in his chest at the big smiles on both of his fiancés faces.

They all stumble back home with a little too much alcohol in their systems, but it’s worth it considering the night ended with his mom looking Michael right in the eyes and inviting them all over for lunch in two days – Alex’s mom included – before kissing both his cheeks. As they fall into bed and curl around each other in their usual position – Michael in the middle, sandwiched between Kyle and Alex – Kyle suppresses a laugh against Michael’s shoulder at the memory of the stunned look on Michael’s face when his mom had reached up to kiss him. He falls asleep with the grin still on his lips.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> post finale, alex gets drunk and lets his anger out with michael  
> michael/maria are still a thing in this

Turns out, drunk Alex is mouthy. And loud. He surprises himself when he realizes that. He hasn’t been this drunk in a long time. He’s four beers in and opening a fifth by the time Michael shows up. He’d texted he’d wanted to meet tonight, to talk, but that had been hours away when Alex had decided to drive to the junkyard with his six-pack – he’s not sure why he’d done that. Probably because he knew Michael wouldn’t be home, and that’d give him time to get properly shit faced before starting the conversation they were supposed to have had two months ago. In hindsight, it was an awful idea. Drunk Alex isn’t good at keeping the pettiness from his voice. He doesn’t stand when Michael gets out of the truck, only stares up at the man and takes the first sip of the new bottle to wet his lips before he starts talking. He doesn’t bother checking whether or not Michael is going to interrupt him.

“Little late on this, aren’t we?” He tries to grin up at Michael but it isn’t very effective. One look at him proves Alex’s theory of where he’d been up until now, why he’d set a specific hour so late in the evening – Alex knows what Michael looks like after sex, doesn’t even have to get closer to see the flush on his cheeks or smell the lingering scent of it to be sure. He takes another sip before continuing, “So, let’s talk. What d’you want me to say? That I’m not like you? That I can’t – I can’t just fuck a couple of strangers until I get you out of my system? I’ve tried, you know. Not that there’s a whole lot of options in this town.”

Michael snorts like he agrees but doesn’t move or open his mouth, so Alex keeps on going. “I can’t even fuck your best friend to get back at you because – well, for one, I don’t even know who your best friend is.” He laughs at himself, self-deprecating and sad. How pathetic, really. At least he’d been right when he’d said that they didn’t know each other. He pauses to take another sip while Michael mutters “Isobel” under his breath. Alex raises an eyebrow at him and chuckles. “Yeah, see? Wouldn’t work. I’m a little too gay for that.”

Michael still hasn’t moved from the spot he’s been rooted in since he got out of the truck. They stare at each other as Alex finishes the fifth beer and reaches for the sixth. For a moment, it looks like Michael wants to move to stop him, fingers twitching at his sides, but it passes quickly.

“I just,” Alex starts again, throat burning and mind swimming from the alcohol, “I just want to feel _something_. I’ve been _numb_ for two months. Two fucking months, Guerin. Why?” He demands, eyes snapping back to Michael’s. He stands, wobbling a little on the spot as he stabilizes. His hand swings with the weight of the beer bottle. “Why is that? Why can’t I fucking _feel_ anything unless I’m with you? Because let me tell you, it’s very _fucking_ annoying, especially when you’ve been-“ He cuts himself off with a huff and gulps down more beer. The bottle slips from his limp fingers when he lowers his arm. It doesn’t break when it crashes on the ground, which is pretty fucking disappointing. He stares at the bottle as it rolls towards Michael’s feet, and that’s apparently what he needs to get closer to the man, following the movement.

In the end, it’s the pity in Michael’s eyes that makes his rage erupt. He gets into his face and hisses, “Tell me something, Guerin. Is it as good as it was with me? Do you let her fuck you like I did, fast and dirty? Or do you take your sweet time with her, huh? Does she know how needy you get for it, when you haven’t had a cock in you for a while, how you _beg_ to be filled?” That’s what finally gets a reaction from Michael, though if Alex hadn’t been so close to him he would’ve missed it. Michael flinches, barely, before his expression shuts down again. His jaw ticks and his nostrils flare with the effort to control his anger, but he seems to manage it, because when he talks, his voice is soft – too soft, he shouldn’t be like this, he should let the rage out, should be meeting Alex’s screams word for word. They should be a bloody mess by now. It drives Alex crazy.

“Alex, you’re drunk.”

He rolls his eyes at him and snorts. Ten fucking points to Guerin. “Don’t you dare treat me like a child.”

“That’s how you’re acting.”

“And whose fault is that?” Alex’s voice is loud in the empty junkyard. He clenches his jaw around another string of petty remarks. The fight rushes out of him with the air he exhales. He closes his eyes for a second, centering himself, and finally speaks the words that have been on his tongue for months. “You left me here. I waited for you for _hours_.”

“I know.”

“Then why the _fuck_ didn’t you bother calling? Texting? Didn’t I deserve _something_? No, you just left me hanging and went to fuck my _best friend_ , like I was just an _afterthought_.” Alex hates the way his voice breaks around the words, hates that his eyes well up with angry tears. He doesn’t want to cry in front of Michael. He wants to fight him, wants to punch him in his perfect fucking face until he wipes the pity off of it.

“Alex, I’m sorry-“

“Don’t touch me.” Alex flinches back from the hand Michael has raised. He ignores the hurt flashing on Michael’s face – he has no right to that hurt, and no right to wanting to comfort Alex right now because it’s all his _fault_. He raises both of his hands to keep Michael away and hates that they’re trembling.

“I don’t know what I expected, coming here,” he whispers, “Don’t know what I was hoping for – or what _you_ were hoping for, for that matter. It isn’t important.” He sees Michael open his mouth and takes another tentative step back. “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to know how being with Maria is easy or how the idea of being with me made you so sick that you couldn’t even gather up the courage to _tell_ me that. You know what? It doesn’t matter. You don’t owe me anything. But don’t expect my forgiveness.”

Alex is back in his car and out of the junkyard before Michael can open his mouth. He doesn’t care what he has to say, doesn’t care that that’s the whole reason he came here tonight, or that he’s drunk out of his mind and will probably have to pull over as soon as he’s out of sight from the junkyard. He just wants to get away from Michael.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: You're satan + malex  
> dirty talk ahead

Michael isn’t drunk. He _isn’t_. But he’s pretty sure he might pass out soon from the lack of blood flow in his brain because all of it seems to be currently be rushing down to his groin, his cock rock hard, courtesy of the steady stream of dirty talk that has been coming out of Alex’s mouth for the past fifteen minutes. And don’t get him wrong, Michael loves when Alex is tipsy enough to lose all semblance of control over his filthy mouth, but he’d rather it happened safely at home, not in the middle of the Wild Pony, forcing him to think about his brother’s disgusting taste in literature in order not to come in his pants.

Alex seems absolutely oblivious to his pain as he continues to whisper filthy words with his mouth pressed right against the shell of Michael’s ear. “Can’t wait to get you home, darling, so I can open you up on my tongue and then my fingers. I’ll take it so slow you’ll be begging me for it by the time you’re ready for my cock. You always beg so prettily for me, such a good boy for me, you’d give me everything I asked.”

Michael chokes down a whimper as Alex nuzzles at the base of his curls, eyes clenching tight as he tries to breathe in steadily. Alex’s hands are dangerously low on his hips and he has to grip them before they dip below the waist of his jeans.

“Alex-“ he starts, warning clear in his tone. Again, Alex is undeterred.

“Shh, baby, I know you love it when I tell you what I’m gonna do with you. You gonna let me fuck you slow until I get all those pretty noises out of you? Gonna take me so good until I come in you the way you like?”

Alex is now basically grinding on him, one hand buried in Michael’s back pocket so he can cup his ass. Michael’s eyes roll to the back of his head for a moment before he steels himself. “Fuck, I swear, you’re- you’re _Satan_.”

Alex finally draws back at that, evil little glint shining in his eyes and paired with an equally sinful grin. “Nha, just his spawn,” he says before he goes right back to pressing open-mouthed kisses along the column of Michael’s neck. It startles a breathy laugh out of Michael that makes a few of the patrons around them turn, but he doesn’t really care as long as Alex has his mouth on him. He lasts ten more minutes through Alex’s dirty talk before he’s dragging him out of the bar. They barely make it back to the cabin in one piece.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: things you said that i wasn’t meant to hear + Malex (round 2)

Alex wakes to the feeling of kisses falling over his skin like little shooting stars. Michael gets like this sometimes, when he’s overwhelmed by the chaos in his mind, and the need to make sure Alex is real takes over him. It always happens when Alex is sleeping or about to fall asleep, because Michael gets irrationally embarassed over it, which is why Alex keeps his eyes shut and his body still, so that he can enjoy the treatment a little longer. 

He can’t help the little intake of breath he takes when his brain catches up to the fact that Michael is talking, though. Small, breathy sentences pressed into Alex’s skin, truths he apparently can’t bring himself to say in any other situation - “I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you” and “You’re my home” and “I never want to leave you”. Alex has to bite down on the inside of his cheek so he doesn’t smile.

It’s the last confession that finally makes him crack an eye open. “One day, Alex Manes, I’ll marry you,” Michael says, words pressed right over Alex’s heart along with another kiss. It makes Alex’s heart grow threefold in his chest and he breathes in deeply.

“That’s the lamest proposal ever, Guerin,” he says after a second, voice low and sleep-rough. Michael freezes where he’s pressed against Alex’s side, body strung tight with tension at the realization that Alex is awake, but Alex is having none of it. He pushes back against him until he can roll them over and settle himself half on top of Michael, with his head on Michael’s chest, hand pressed over his heart and face smushed on his chest with a happy sigh. “You’ll have to try again.”

Michael lets out a tense little chuckle at that, and after a moment his arms come up to wrap around Alex’s shoulders, all tension gone from his body. His fingers slip in Alex’s hair and keep him close. He hums and presses one last kiss to Alex’s forehead before he proceeds to recite all the corniest movie proposals he can think of. Halfway through the fifth, Alex rises on an elbow so he can kiss Michael and shut him up. He whispers a yes against Michael’s lips with every kiss he gives him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Things you said when you were scared + malex

“Fuck, fuck, _fuck_.” Michael is, in one word, panicking. He’s trying to keep his breath under control as he frantically searches for a way to staunch the blood pouring out of Alex’s left thigh. He presses his balled up jacket to the wound, as hard as he can. 

“Alex?” He has to try a couple of times for his voice to work properly, anxiety choking his words. Alex’s eyes are closed and his heart stops for a moment before he realizes his chest is still rising and falling. He presses a hand to Alex’s cheek, trying to get him to open his eyes. “Alex, stay with me. C’mon, love, open your eyes.”

Alex’s eyes flutter open just as Kyle joins them, doctor face in place. He takes over Michael’s hand to press on the wound and tells him, his voice clinical and precise, “Take your belt off, wrap it above the bullet hole, as tight as you can.”

Michael snaps into motion and follows the orders, then focuses back on Alex, both hands now cupping his face and smearing blood across his jaw. He shushes him when Alex lets out a pained whimper and he presses his forehead to Alex’s. “I’m sorry, I know, I know. Just focus on me, ok? Max is on his way and he’s gonna- he’s gonna-”

“Guerin,” Kyle calls. Michael doesn’t look back, but he tilts his head to indicate he’s listening. “Breathe.”

He nods, distractedly, and sucks in a deep breath, pressing as close as he can to Alex, before he launches into another speech. “If you die on me, I swear, Manes…” his voice breaks and he has to blink the tears away, but Alex is smiling a little, even through the exhaustion, so he keeps going, “When this is over, I’m gonna take you far away from here. Some place- Some place with no desert, no sand. I’m gonna- We’re gonna be free, Alex, I promise.”

He presses a kiss to Alex’s temple, cursing when he notices that Alex’s eyes have slipped closed again. “No, _no_. Alex! Darling, c’mon. _Look at me_.” He shakes Alex a little, in desperation, and his throat is so thick with tears that he can barely get the words out. “I love you, so much. You’re my family, and I can’t lose you. Just stay with me.”

He’s still whispering the same words over and over again, face as close as it can be to Alex’s, when Max finally skids into the room and Michael feels like he can breathe again. Alex is going to be okay.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: I had a bad dream again + Malex  
> snippet from a single dad!michael fic that's in the works :)

“Papi?” Michael groans and sits up when he hears the voice calling for him. He rubs at his face to wake up a little, looking over at the door where the tiny voice came from. Mara is fidgeting with her nightgown where she’s standing, waiting for permission to come in. He waves her over and makes room for her on the bed, letting her cuddle up against his chest like she used to when she was smaller. He pets her hair, curling the plait it’s braided in around his fingers as he waits for her to speak.

“I had another bad dream,” she whispers the words like they’re a secret, and Michael sighs as he holds her closer. She hasn’t had any nightmares in a while, not since Alex had moved in, at least. But he’s not home now and Mara has been missing him. Michael’s heart aches at the toll it’s taking on his daughter.

“Está bien, cariño. You can sleep here.” He wraps her up in his arms and pulls the blanket back over both of them, settling back in.

“I miss Daddy,” she says a second later, her face wet with tears as she presses it into Michael’s neck.

“I know, baby, me too. Hey, you wanna call him?” He strokes a hand over her hair and feels her nod. He hums as he reaches for his phone, rapidly calculating the time difference in his head. He nods to himself – it should be about 9pm where Alex is, so he shouldn’t get too worried about receiving a random call from home. He dials the number as he keeps holding Mara tight, humming a song under his breath as he listens to the phone ring.

“Michael?” Alex’s voice comes a second later, a worried edge already infused in it.

“Hey, I’m sorry, everything’s ok. Mara just had a nightmare and she wants to talk to you.” He can hear the relieved sigh on the other end of the line and he smiles before putting the phone on speaker so Mara can talk to Alex.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Alex starts tentatively, “What’s going on? Is Papi behaving?”

Michael shakes his head with a small chuckle and tightens his hold on Mara, phone dropped on his chest next to his daughter’s head. Mara mumbles something back, but it’s almost unintelligible since the sound of Alex’s voice seems to have had an immediate soothing effect over her.

“It’s ok to be scared,” Alex is saying when Michael focuses back on his voice, “But your dad and I will always be there to protect you, I promise.”

“When’re you coming back?” Mara sniffles, fist rubbing against her eyes. Michael’s chest seizes a bit at the sadness in her tone.

“I’ll be home in a couple of days, honey. Can you be good for Papi while I’m gone?” There’s an edge to Alex’s voice that brings tears to Michael’s eyes. He’s obviously worried, but there’s a sense of _longing_ there that mirrors what Michael himself has been feeling over the last few days.

“Yeah,” Mara mumbles back, drawing the word out over a yawn. “Love you, Daddy.”

“I love you too, sweetheart.” Michael can hear the wetness in Alex’s voice – he hasn’t quite adjusted to Mara calling him _daddy_ yet, and still gets a little overwhelmed even though she’s now using it on the regular.

It takes no time for Mara to fall asleep after that, cradled as she is in Michael’s arms. He takes the phone off speaker and says goodnight to Alex, whispered _I love you_ s being exchanged before they hang up. He puts his phone back on the bedside table and says screw it to his own rules of having Mara sleep in her own room because she’s old enough - she just had a nightmare and all he wants to do is keep her close and safe, so he just hugs her tighter to his chest and lets himself be lulled to sleep by her steady breathing.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Singing badly as loud as you can + malex  
> cw for brief panic attack

The first of his habits that Alex notices after Michael moves into the cabin is that he always takes the longest showers. He doesn’t really ask why or bring it up with Michael because it doesn’t take a PhD to figure out the reason: Michael has never been able to afford luxuries in his life, and to him, having a shower big enough that your elbows don’t catch on the walls and with perfect water pressure is one of such luxuries. Alex is not about to question that, nor does he want to embarass Michael by calling him out. If he has to deal with a more expensive water bill at the end of the month, so be it.

What _does_ surprise Alex is that Michael also has a habit of singing in the shower. And now, Alex has been told by several people that he has a nice singing voice, and he knows enough about music that he feels like he can judge whether someone can or cannot sing. Michael, he places himself firmly into the former category, but boy, if he doesn’t try his best anyway. He’s so loud that even Alex’s noise-cancelling headphones prove to be useless and he’s always, inevitably, off key. It makes Alex giggle like a child every time, and he doesn’t say anything because he’s pretty sure Michael is unaware that he can hear him, and he’s not about to cause him to stop singing. He does, however, share his knowledge with Maria and Liz, and with Isobel, too, because that’s his duty as a future brother-in-law.

Eventually, it comes up, as most things between them do, at the strangest of times. Growing up in New Mexico, Alex had always loved thunderstorms. As a kid, he’d wait for the daily four o’clock storm to roll in and settle and the window in his bedroom to watch the lightning criss-cross the sky and count the seconds between the flashes of light and the thunder that followed. Now, the clap of thunder only reminds him of the echo of bombs exploding the in the desert, and the chaos that follows. Normally, he manages to distract himself with music or work or by being around Michael, but when one particular storm stretches way into the night, he finds himself waking up gasping and breaking in a cold sweat, body strung tight and eyes alert as he takes in his surroundings, ears still ringing with the memory of his unit screaming over the whistle of bombs.

He hunches over, counting up to ten as he inhales and then down to zero as he exhales again. He feels the rush of blood in his ears slowly receding as he gets through the worst of the panic attack, and that’s also when he notices the warm body hovering by his side. He mentally blesses Michael for knowing that he doesn’t like being touched when he wakes up like this, then scoots back into his welcoming embrace, settling with his back to Michael’s chest. He’s still out of it enough that he only notices Michael is humming something by the vibrations he feels where they’re pressed together. He sucks in a wet breath and exhales one last time, a little smirk forming on his lips as he realizes that Michael is singing softly into his ear.

“You’re a terrible singer, Guerin,” he mutters as he settles further into Michael’s arm. The song is interrupted abruptly by an affronted sound that makes Alex laugh, the last of the pressure on his chest easing out of him.

“Thank you,” he adds after a moment, fingers tangling with Michael’s so that he can bring his hand up to his lips and kiss the back of it. Michael nuzzles at the short hairs at the nape of his neck, dropping a kiss of his own there and making Alex smile. Alex hums, contented, and turns into the embrace so that he can settle with his head pillowed on Michael chest. Before he lets himself drift off to sleep again, he whispers, “I’d still thank you to stop singing in the shower. You’re awful.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: I missed something didn’t I? & well, this is awkward + Malex  
> rosa finds out about malex :D

It takes almost a year for Michael and Alex to find their way back to each other. A year of groveling to find a way to bring Max back, to come up with a good cover up story for Rosa, to explain Noah’s disappearance to the town. A year of dating other people, of relationships imploding way too quickly, of sex that always leaves a spot unfilled.

At first, it’s tentative. They’ve long since had that talk Michael had promised Alex, and hammered out their shared trauma, but they’re both equally scared of diving into a relationship head first. They take it slow, but they both agree on not hiding anything anymore. They’re finally, blissfully, open with it - if anyone asks, they say it’s because they’ve earned it. They go on dates around town, hold hands in public, even go as far as a little pda.

When they eventually ease into sex again, it’s as epic as it’s ever been. They don’t even _try_ to be subtle about it. Their friends call them out on it all the time, but from Michael’s point of view, if he’s had to suffer through five years of Isobel recounting in vivid detail what she did with Noah, and six months of Max sharing increasingly disturbing details of his sex life with Liz, he can and will share whatever thoughts he damn well pleases about Alex, including how phenomenal his ass is.

Still, no matter how obvious they’re being, it turns out not everyone in town can do the math, or maybe it’s just that not all of their friends have walked in on them while they’re in some kind of compromising position yet. They do rectify that pretty quickly, though. Michael is well on his way to his second orgasm of the morning, perched on top of the counter in the cabin’s kitchen, head thrown back against the cabinets as Alex grinds into him, when there’s a knock on the door.

“Don’t you dare,” he hisses, clutching Alex close when he stops moving. “Alex, fuck, don’t-“

There’s a second round of knocks and Alex swears under his breath, retreating from Michael and pulling his pajama pants up with a frown as he walks to the door. He waves a hand at Michael – which, he surmises, amounts to something like _make yourself presentable_ – before he opens the door.

“Rosa?”

“Hey, pun- Oh.” Rosa stops short after she takes one good look at Alex’s face, his cheeks flushed and his hair a mess. She does a very poor job of suppressing a snort. “Well, this is awkward.”

She grins up at him and pops her gum. Alex frowns at her. “Rosa, what are you doing here?”

“Liz sent me. Apparently you’ve been hiding out here way too long. I’ll be sure to relay w-“ Again, she interrupts herself, only this time it’s to wolf-whistle at Michael as he appears from the kitchen, sweatpants back in place along with his shirt, though there’s really no hiding what they’ve been doing.

“Wait, you’re telling me you’re banging _that_ , Manes?” Rosa licks her lips, her grin widening again when she catches them both blushing. “Good for you.”

After a moment where both Alex and Michael’s brains seem to short-circuit a little, Michael comes up behind Alex and wraps his arms around his waist, chin perched on top of his shoulder as he studies Rosa. “I’m the lucky one, actually.”

“Well, I sure missed something here, didn’t I?”

“Wait, you mean you didn’t know?” Alex asks. He’s pretty sure that everyone in town and their grandma knows, by now.

“Why should I?” Rosa tips her head to the side. She blows a bubble with her gum as she waits for Alex to reply – snorting when he opens his mouth once, twice, with no sounds escaping him. She shrugs. “Though, if you must know, it’s just the fact that you two have pulled your heads out of your asses and got together that I wasn’t aware of. I could smell the pining from afar even in 2008.”

Michael hides his laugh in the crook of Alex’s neck, yelping when one of Alex’s sharp elbows catches him in the stomach. Alex is blushing again, still looking at Rosa, who’s now sporting a smug little smile. She gives them one last lewd once-over before fishing out her car keys from her jacket pocket and skipping down the porch steps. As she clears the last one, she looks over her shoulder to say, “C’mon, we’re going for breakfast and you’re getting me up to speed.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Why are you so jealous + malex  
> this is mostly a rip off of max and jenna's storyline ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

The last thing Alex expects coming back to Roswell after two tours with the Air Force and undergoing the Deputy training program is to be partnered with his high school crush on his first day on the job. Michael Guerin still looks every bit like every wet dream Alex’s ever had, only he now also wears a uniform, sports a permanent five o’clock shadow, and is apparently built like a brick wall.

Their first day on patrol duty is hell. Guerin is chatty and downright flirty. He delights in making Alex blush and lose his train of thought. He’s loud, leaves sugary prints all over the car whenever he eats donuts, and has such a chaotic energy about him that Alex struggles to keep up with him on most days. It’s exhausting. He’s also the best deputy on the force, according to both Sheriff Valenti and Max Evans. Alex understands why fairly quickly.

Guerin might be a tornado, but he’s kind, fiercely protective, and he genuinely wants to help people. He’s also smart as fuck – Alex learns this quickly, too, from the fact that Guerin’s favorite pastime is apparently reading books overly crammed with numbers and equations that make Alex go cross-eyed. He can dish out random facts about quantum physics at six in the morning and wins any and every quiz night at the station.

Working with him drives Alex crazy. On most days, he just wants him to shut up, because Alex is not overly talkative and likes his quiet when he’s working. He also wants to kiss the shit out of him, because Guerin is stupidly hot and somehow, all the traits that bug Alex also make him all the more attractive. So one day, he just puts the two needs together.

Guerin waves at him with a donut when he gets in the car after their night shift. They live close enough to each other that they carpool on most days - when they’re too lazy to walk, because Roswell is not that big a town anyway. He’s saying something about Alex’s pre-emptive bed head that he barely pays attention to. He smashes their mouths together, tasting the sugar on Guerin’s lips when he opens his mouth. There’s a whimper that Alex is only fifty percent sure comes for Guerin, though the other man hasn’t moved. When Alex draws back, he’s staring at him, eyes as big as saucers.

“I’m sorry,” Alex gets out immediately, cheeks going red. “I shouldn’t- That was highly unprofessional.”

Guerin makes a choked sound in his throat that could have been intended as a laugh, then swallows. “Sure was, Manes,” he says easily, licking his lips. He takes his time putting the donut back in the box resting between their two seats, then licks his fingers clean – Alex has to look away from the sight before his mind starts wandering. Guerin clears his throat before he says, casually, “Your place or mine?”

The next few hours, Alex spends in a stupor. They head to Michael’s place – it’s always Michael’s, after that – and waste no time in getting to the point. Their first kisses are full of lust and hunger, but they’re both exhausted from their night shift, so by the time they get to the bed and are fully undressed, they’ve slowed to a lazy rhythm, grinding together as their hands wander over each other’s bodies.

Michael eventually rolls them over so he’s under Alex and asks him, none-too-gently, to fuck him. Alex is only too happy to oblige, though his head is currently a mess of jumbled thoughts of _oh fuck, I’m having sex with my high school crush_ , which only get progressively worse when Alex realizes how perfectly he and Michael fit together. He has his mind half set on once again bringing up how highly unprofessional of them this is when it’s over, but then Michael is curling up against his side with a satisfied sigh, already well on his way to unconsciousness, and Alex goes all soft looking at him. He doesn’t stay long, waiting for Michael to be fully asleep before he slips from the bed and gets dressed. It’s an asshole move, but he was already risking falling for Michael as it was before and now, having slept with him… It only feels all the more inevitable. But damn him if Alex won’t do his best to delay it for a while.

He’s dead set on confronting Michael on their next shift, but then it just keeps happening. It’s Michael offering to take him home after a particularly groveling shift, or texting him asking if he wants to come over to watch the game – when he knows full well that Alex can’t even tell the difference between football and basketball – or asking if he wants to get a drink after work. They always end the night – or day, depending on their schedules – the same way. After the fourth time, Alex resigns himself to the fact that he’ll have to enjoy the part of Michael he gets to have for as long as he can have it, all while trying to keep his feelings in check. He always stays just long enough to catch his breath, and tells himself that he’s not being a jerk because Michael never mentions it, but that doesn’t mean he can’t feel guilty over it anyway.

*

Michael is already leaning against the door when Alex clears the last flight of stairs. There’s a playful smirk on his lips and he lets his eyes travel slowly up Alex’s body – Alex feels it like a physical touch and has to keep himself from shuddering. He swallows around the lump in his throat as he takes in Michael’s appearance. He looks soft and sleepy, but still entirely edible – sweatpants slung low on his hips, an oversized sweater hanging half off his shoulder, showing off his collarbones, his hair ruffled and soft-looking.

“Hey,” he manages as he stops in front of Michael. He’s strung tight with tension and can’t meet his eyes, fingers fidgeting with the bottle of tequila in his hands.

“Hey yourself,” Michael drawls. Alex is still staring at his bare feet but can feel him shifting from a lean to stand firmly on both feet. “Alex?”

“My dad’s in town,” Alex blurts out, a sigh following the words. He finally brings his eyes up to Michael’s face to see the realization dawning upon his features, Michael’s eyes widening. Over the past months, they’ve both shared some of their family histories, in moments when the world was quiet and they had to fill the silence during long night shifts. He’s learned about Michael’s childhood in foster care, and traded back some of his memories of his father. So Michael’s small nod is all Alex needs to know that he understands the situation perfectly.

Michael’s hand comes up to slowly stroke down the hand Alex is holding the bottle with, fingers closing around his and pulling him close with the smallest tug. “Need to blow off some steam?”

“Please,” is all Alex has to say for Michael to pull him in more firmly, door slamming closed after he makes it inside. The tequila is forgotten on the coffee table as they stumble to the bedroom, mouths connected and hands wandering. As usual, they barely make it to the bed, laughing as they collapse on it in a heap, before Alex is pushing Michael down on it and climbing in his lap.

It takes his mind off of things alright, for a time at least. It’s rougher than usual, Michael’s fingers leaving bruises on his hips, Alex urging him to go harder, deeper, so that he can ignore the way his eyes water from something entirely different from pleasure. But after, when he’s curled up on Michael’s chest and catching his breath, the panic over the thought of his father being in town comes back in full force. He feels vulnerable, scraped raw, and like he’s shown a part of himself that he’d wanted to keep hidden, without ever saying a word.

“Hey.” Michael’s voice reaches his ears, but barely, like he’s calling at him from far away. Alex looks up from where he was staring at his own fingers running paths through Michael’s chest hair. Michael runs a hand through Alex’s messy hair, tugging a little at the strands. It centers Alex, makes him close his eyes and take a deep breath. “Where are you?”

“’m right here,” he sighs, dropping his head back onto Michael’s shoulder.

“Are you?”

“You just fucked my brains out, twice, Guerin, what d’you want me to say?” Michael hums, the sound reverberating through his chest and making Alex shiver.

“Is that why you look like your mind is somewhere else?”

Alex sighs. He runs a hand down his face, then sits up and curls away from Michael, already reaching for his clothes. He can hear the sound of the sheets rustling behind him, like Michael’s dragging them closer to him. He’s already half dressed when Michael speaks up. “You leaving?” His tone makes it clear that he already knows the answer to that question. After all, it’s a solid pattern for them – text, fuck, cuddle for maybe five minutes, no talking, get dressed. Rinse and repeat about twice a week.

When Alex turns, Michael has also sat up. He’s already got his boxers on and is dragging his sweater over his head, leaving his curls a mess. It’s like he felt vulnerable in his nakedness with Alex mostly dressed. He peeks at Alex as he settles back against the headboard, chewing on his thumbnail.

“You don’t have to, you know. I think I have some leftover pizza, we can-“

“Guerin.” Michael’s jaw locks like he’s biting down on his words. Alex gets his shoes on so he doesn’t have to look at him as he says, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Right.” There’s something in Michael’s eyes that Alex doesn’t quite recognize when he looks back up at him, now fully dressed. He clears his throat, hands twitching at his sides. He wants to reach for him, tuck that one wayward curl behind his ear, press a kiss to Michael’s forehead. He does none of that, just nods at Michael and lets himself out of the apartment before his mind gets into more dangerous territories.

*

The next day, Michael corners him after a their shift, both of them dead on their feet after a long day and ready to go home. He has a paper bag in hand and he’s soft around the edges when he holds it up for Alex to take.

“What’s this?” Alex asks, pushing through a yawn as he takes the bag.

“Stuff you left at my place. Hoodie, some dvds…” He trails off, shrugging, then turns to his locker to change. Alex stares at his back stupidly until Michael has finished getting dressed and has turned back to face him.

“I just-“ Michael sighs, scrubbing his hands over his face and then pushing them back into his curls. “I think it’s better we stop with… Whatever this is we have going on.”

“I don’t understand.” Alex blinks at him, hands clutching at the bag – apparently, his brain has stopped working, because he can’t process what’s happening. He thought it was pretty clear what they were doing, and Michael was the one to invite him over most of the time. The way his voice betrays some sadness makes no sense to Alex, nor do his next words. 

“Listen, that guy, Oliver? I know you like him. And I think you should ask him out. I don’t wanna be an obstacle to that, alright?”

 _What the fuck?_ Sure, Oliver is cute, comes in from the café across the street to bring their orders of coffee and donuts every morning, and Alex likes him well enough. He’s easy to flirt with and it takes his mind off of work for ten minutes every day. But why in hell would Michael tell him to ask him on a date?

“Guerin, I don’t-“

“Just ask him out, will ya?” Michael smiles at him, grabs his bag, and presses a kiss to Alex’s cheek before he moves to the door, leaving Alex gaping at the spot he just vacated.

*

“What is it, are you jealous, is that it?”

Michael scoffs at him, turning back to his beer, but Alex is undeterred. It’s a week later, he’s taken Michael’s advice, and is at the Wild Pony with Oliver. The date was actually going pretty well, at least up until the moment Michael showed up. Their shifts after the talk in the locker room had been surprisingly quiet, but not tense, so Alex had figured things were still alright between them. But Michael had barely spared a glance their way when he got in, he’d been scowling and he ignored Alex’s greeting completely, so Alex had excused himself from Oliver and followed him at the bar.

“You _told_ me to ask him out!”

Michael clenches his jaw like he’s holding back a petty reply. His jaw works for a moment before he says, “He just wants to get in your pants.”

“Yeah, _and_? You don’t exactly have the moral high ground here, Guerin.” Alex crosses his arms over his chest and glares at the side of his face. Michael still hasn’t turned to face him. It suits Alex just fine. Guerin wants to be an asshole about this after he pushed Alex away? Fine, but it doesn’t mean Alex won’t give him a piece of mind.

“He doesn’t deserve you,” Michael mutters into his beer, chugging the last of it.

“Why do you care?” Alex says, exasperated, his arms going raised up and away from his body before they slam down to his hips again.

“You know why.” Michael carefully places the glass back down and finally turns to Alex, who’s staring at him wide-eyed. He smiles, soft and sad. Alex’s breath catches in his throat when he sees him reaching a hand out before he seems to remember it’s not his place anymore, and he lets it drop on his leg.

“You’re the one who ended things,” Alex says after a moment, knowing that the confusion he’s feeling is clear in his voice. This doesn’t make any sense. Michael’s thoughts on this have always been clear. Or maybe… Has he been reading the situation wrong all this time?

“Yeah, well,” Michael shrugs, hands fidgeting with a loose strand in his jeans. “Our arrangement wasn’t really working out for me anymore.”

“Guerin-“ Alex’s voice is so low that he knows Michael has to strain to hear it. Michael’s eyes close for a moment at the sound, and then his body is swaying back on the stool, away from Alex.

“You should go back to your date,” he says in the end, hand already rummaging in his pocket for cash. He’s up and heading for the door a second later, and he doesn’t stop when Alex calls for him again.

*

It takes exactly 43 minutes for Alex to realize that Oliver is actually a jerk, dump him, and drive to Michael’s flat. By the time he gets there, Michael has already changed into the usual sweatpants-and-sweater look he sports when he’s home, the one that has go Alex weak in his knees a little. If the look on Michael’s face is anything to go by, he’s surprised to see him.

“Alex?”

“We need to talk.” He doesn’t wait for Michael to reply before he’s shouldering past him and shrugging his jacket off as he heads to the couch. Michael takes his time shutting the door, then presses his back to it after he turns to face Alex, like he doesn’t trust himself to be closer to Alex.

“You were right, for what it’s worth,” Alex says. He’s able to sit still on the couch for all of five seconds before he’s up and pacing, hands tugging at his hair. “Oliver’s a jerk.” He stops moving because Michael is suddenly up in his space, eyes frantic as he looks him over. Alex raises his hands in a placating gesture. “He didn’t touch me.”

Michael moves back after a second, reassured, but he doesn’t go far. He hovers, uncertain of what to do – Alex can see it in the way his hands clench and unclench at his sides. He sighs and takes an aborted step forward, everything in his being drawing him to Michael, but he wrenches himself back and towards the couch once again. If he wants this conversation to be successful, he needs to think clearly, and he can’t do that if he’s standing too close to Michael.

“Look, the thing is… I didn’t want him anyway.” He shrugs, ignoring the way Michael’s eyes narrow warily. “But then you broke things off and I thought, why not? Least I could do was give it a try. I didn’t consider how hard it would be, being out with him when, the whole time, my mind was set on someone else.”

Michael makes a choked off sound, but he doesn’t move. His hands are now clenched into fists. It’s like he needs a physical reminder to not step closer to Alex. Alex knows that feeling all too well. He swallows, searching for the right words with which to put what he wants to say next, but Michael speaks first. “Why didn’t you _say_ anything?”

“I-“ Alex looks around aimlessly, at a loss for words. “I thought you were ok with what we had, that you didn’t want it to be more than that.”

“You thought _I_ didn’t want more?” Michael scoffs, and it’s like something in him has finally been unlocked. He steps forward, features pinched tight in disbelief. “You were always the one running out of the door as soon as we were done! You never even let me get a word in!”

And yeah, he might have a point. Alex isn’t going to deny any of that, and he feels the embarrassment crawling beneath his skin at being reminded of his behavior. But then again… “You never said anything either! I thought that’s all you wanted, and then tonight, at the Pony, you just-”

Again, the sound coming out of Michael’s mouth is a disbelieving one. He crosses his arms over his chest, now only a few steps away from Alex, who’s fidgeting, hands going from behind his back, to crossed over his chest to mirror Michael, to being bunched in his pockets. He needs to be extremely careful with his next words, but he knows he has to get them out sooner or later, or risk losing Michael for good over a stupid misunderstanding. He has to tell the truth.

“I’ve had a crush on you since junior year of high school,” he says after taking a deep breath. Michael’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, and Alex fights through a blush to continue, “Being with you seemed like a dream, but I thought sex was all that was on the table. I know it’s selfish, but I was ok with that being the deal as long as I got to be with you in some capacity. I ran away every time because I didn’t want to risk actually falling for you. Being your partner was already proving hard enough, and I couldn’t imagine resisting it if we added pillow talk and cuddling to the mix. I guess I never actually paid enough attention to how you were feeling to realize we might have become more, and I’m sorry.”

He shrugs when he finishes, eyes set on his own feet. Michael is silent for a moment, and Alex is already telling himself that he said too much, he’s ruined his chance. But then, oh, then all Michael says is, “Did it work?”

Alex looks up, eyebrows drawn tight in confusion. “Did what work?”

“Running away so you wouldn’t fall for me. Did it work?”

Alex swallows, looking away. He shakes his head, once, a quick snap of his head back and forth. When he looks over at Michael again, he’s surprised to find he’s significantly closer than he was a moment ago, and sporting a quickly widening grin. He shivers when Michael reaches for him, eyes falling shut as fingertips stroke down his cheek.

“Good,” Michael whispers against his ear, body pressing into Alex’s and making him tremble. There’s an arm around his waist keeping him up, so he lets himself collapse into Michael, just a little, as the other man presses his next words into his skin along with a kiss. “Because it didn’t work for me either.”

Alex gasps, drawing back just enough so that he can accept Michael’s kiss, pull him closer as he deepens it. It has only been a week, but he’s missed Michael’s lips on his, the feeling of Michael’s body pressing against his own, of Michael’s soft curls under his fingers. _Welcome home_ , this kiss seems to say. He lets his forehead rest against Michael’s when they pull back, a small smile blossoming on his lips. “You saying you’re in love with me, Guerin?”

Michael laughs, short but happy, pressing another kiss to the corner of Alex’s lips. “Yeah, Manes, I guess I am.”

Alex hums, delaying his answer in favor of pressing pecks to whichever part of Michael’s face he can reach. His mind is swarming with thoughts of how he’ll have to transfer, or at least get the Sheriff to switch partners, because recreational sex might be only slightly unprofessional, but a relationship definitely, a hundred percent, is. God, a relationship. He can’t quite believe that’s what seems to be on the table now, when just an hour ago he’d thought Michael had ended things between them because he didn’t want him anymore.

Michael’s hands stroking down his back bring him back into focus. He still hasn’t said anything, but he lets Michael lead him to the bedroom, lets him undress him. For one night, he gives up all control, lets himself be taken care of. Only after, when they’re properly cuddling for the first time, his face pressed into Michael’s neck and Michael’s arms around him, he lets the words slip out of his mouth, impossibly soft and almost foreign on his tongue. “I love you.” And if saying them gets him the same words coming from Michael, equally soft and more than a little awe seeping through his voice, well, then Alex doesn’t plan on stopping any time soon.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: If I have to pull over, you won’t be able to walk for the next week + malex  
> smut with a healthy helping of crack ;)

Here’s the thing: Michael likes the independence of having his own ride. He prefers driving to being a passenger whenever he can. But Alex is trying to woo him and that, apparently, includes picking him up from the junkyard to drive two towns over for dinner – because there was nothing nearly as fancy in Roswell, not because he didn’t want them to be seen together, Alex had hastily explained – and then driving him back home at the end of the date.

By the time they’re on their way back to the junkyard, Michael is positively vibrating with tension. His idea of date goes as far as bringing the six pack of beers out into the yard so they can look at the stars and not drink inside the cramped-up space of the airstream – he’s not used to having to wait so long to get his hands on Alex or having to be _considerate_ with his words because there are people around.

For a time, he tries to distract himself by cataloging the details of Alex’s SUV – the soft leather of the seats, supple under his fingers; the stick between the seats that makes him pout because he can’t slide over to Alex like he would in the truck; the ample seats that could easily fit two quarterbacks and have his mind racing with possibilities.

Alex pays him no mind, his eyes set on the deserted road in front of him. That is, until Michael starts messing with the levers on his seat and suddenly shoots back with a yelp. He takes a moment to calm his racing heart before he grins sheepishly at Alex, who’s turned long enough to fix him with a glare. Then, he’s right back to messing with the other levers, muttering the whole time.

“Doesn’t this thing go-“ He lets out a victorious whoop when the back of the seat finally starts lowering until it’s completely flat and he can lay down comfortably. He can hear Alex heaving out a sigh and he grins at the roof of the car.

“ _What_ are you doing?” Alex grits between his teeth. When he looks over, Michael can see his hands are gripping the steering wheel so hard that his knuckles have gone white.

“Making myself comfortable,” he says easily, shifting his hips a little to make his point.

“Guerin-“

“Hmm?” Michael still has his eyes set on the roof as he undoes the button on his slacks, sliding them down his hips. Next to him, Alex curses under his breath. He doesn’t stop, smirk firmly set on his hips as he kicks his shoes off along with his pants in the space in front of him, and hooks his thumbs in his underwear.

“Guerin, if I have to stop-“

“I’d be disappointed if you didn’t,” Michael sighs. He hasn’t taken his underwear off yet, but it’s resting dangerously low on his hips the way he knows Alex likes.

He grins when Alex finally swerves off the road and puts the car into park. Alex gets out of the car without a word, walks around it and opens the passenger’s door, frown still etched on his features. Michael takes his time stretching languidly on his seat as Alex stares at him, then slowly, oh so slowly peels his boxers off and shifts so that Alex can get in. It takes a bit of work, figuring out how to fit in the seat, and Michael is pretty sure at one point he narrowly avoids kicking Alex in the balls, but then they’re finally settled, Michael sitting comfortably in Alex’s lap. He hasn’t gotten Alex to lie down yet, but he’s working on it, hands wandering over his body and down to the hem of his pants.

“I swear to god, Guerin, if you get us arrested-“ The frown hasn’t left Alex’s face, and he’s grumbling as Michael rolls his eyes from where he’s reaching for the button on his slacks.

“Relax, private, we’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“We’re not that far out,” Alex shoots back. Michael just hums in consideration, but his attention is all on getting Alex’s pants low enough that he can get his hand on his dick. Alex doesn’t relent. “The junkyard-“

“Is too far,” Michael says, finally looking up at Alex. He still has his back ramrod straight, despite the seat being perfectly horizontal, so Michael pushes at his shoulders to get him to lie down. Alex goes with it easily enough, though he’s still glowering at Michael, and that won’t do. Michael shifts so that he can get Alex’s slacks and underwear to mid-thigh, sighing in unison with Alex when his hand finally closes around the base of Alex’s cock. He hums again, thumb smearing the pre-cum around the cockhead. He can feel the tingle of lust in his gut that makes his toes curl, just looking at Alex like this – shirt hanging open and framing his hips, lips red from where he’s been biting down on them. As he works his hand on Alex’s cock, slow and methodical, he says, casually, “I can’t wait that long to get you inside of me.”

“Fuck, Guerin,” Alex moans, back arching just enough for him to push his hips into Michael’s hand. It’s the moment Michael knows he has him, they’re going to do this. He takes his hand off of Alex’s dick just long enough to reach down for his discarded pants. Alex raises an eyebrow at him when he takes out the lube and condom with a satisfied grin. He shrugs – it’s not like Alex doesn’t know him well enough to know he’d have supplies.

“C’mere.” Alex reaches a hand out to him and he goes willingly, pressing the two packets in Alex’s other hand as they kiss, tongues sliding together and making him moan low in his throat. It’s a mystery to him how Alex manages to get the lube open one-handed, keeping the other hand in Michael’s curls the whole time, but then there are wet fingers pressing at his hole and he whimpers, pushing back into the touch eagerly. He can feel Alex smile into the kiss and he almost huffs – he knows what Alex would say if his mouth wasn’t otherwise occupied, and he’s not ashamed to admit that he does, indeed, love when Alex opens him up like this, teasing and playful.

That doesn’t mean he doesn’t get tired of it quickly and starts pushing back against Alex’s hand to get him to go faster. He groans when Alex’s fingers don’t budge, still keeping to their slow rhythm, occasionally scissoring open or curling right into his prostate. He tightens around them, hips circling as he tries to at least get some friction with his cock on Alex’s stomach, but Alex’s free hand closes around his hip like a vice, keeping him in place, and he whines. “Alex, c’mon.”

“No,” Alex grits out, with that authoritative edge to his voice that always has Michael want to beg, “You’re being a brat. You’ll get what I give you.”

His fingers – three of them, now – are steadily pressing into Michael’s prostate and making him gasp for air. He clenches his hands around Alex’s shoulders, knowing that when Alex gets like this he won’t allow him to touch himself unless he says so. Only when his thighs start to tremble with the effort of keeping still does Alex finally, _finally_ get his fingers out and rip the foil of the condom open to get it on himself.

Michael is already so out of it from just the prep that he’s putty in Alex’s hands, going with him as Alex repositions them so that he can press the head of his cock to Michael’s hole. He keeps his eyes closed and sighs, contented, as Alex bottoms out inside of him. They stay completely still for a moment, just breathing together as Michael’s body adjusts to the intrusion. Then, Michael gives a single nod, and Alex starts moving his hips.

It’s slow, just like it was with his fingers, because Alex knows that when Michael gets like this, he’ll beg for fast and rough, but he’ll actually come undone with soft and steady. Michael braces himself with his hands on Alex’s chest, letting Alex guide him wherever he wants. His eyes are still closed, just savoring the feeling of Alex’s cock in him, pressing up against his prostate on every other thrust. It’s why he doesn’t see the lights approaching, or stop moving even when Alex goes still under him, hips carrying on with the momentum. He only opens his eyes when Alex lets out a single, concise, “Fuck.”

Turns out, there’s nothing that turns him off faster, even with a dick in him, than his own brother knocking on the car window and asking if they’re ok in there. They’re positioned far enough on the seat that all Max can see is probably Alex’s legs, the rest being covered by the obscured backseat windows. Michael prays, he prays that Max has come up from the back, thus avoiding the view from the windshield, which would’ve left nothing to the imagination. He’s about to tell Alex to stay still, maybe Max will just go away if they don’t reply, but Alex is already sitting up – which makes Michael groan as Alex’s cock shifts inside of him – tugging Michael’s shirt down where it had bunched up under his armpits to cover him. It’s not enough, but it’ll have to do until they can get untangled and reach for their pants.

Michael glares at Alex when his boyfriend gestures for him to get the window down, but he relents after a second when it’s clear Max isn’t going anywhere. He sighs and reaches for the button, staring up into Max’s face mournfully. Max has the decency to at least look embarrassed when he realizes what they’re doing.

“Michael?”

“Hey, Max,” he replies, dragging the vowels. He tries to look as innocent as possible, but it’s hard when he’s half naked on a barely more dressed man’s lap. Max closes his eyes, seemingly counts to ten to retain his patience, throws a look at Alex and then at Michael, and finally shakes his head.

“Please get dressed and go home so I don’t have to arrest you for public indecency,” he says, sounding tired. Michael swears he can hear him mutter “ _Again_ ” under his breath as he goes back to his patrol car.

There’s silence in the car for a beat as Michael rolls up the window again, carefully avoiding Alex’s eyes the whole time. When he hears Alex draw in a breath, he precedes him. “I know, I know. You warned me.”

“Yes, I did,” Alex hisses. His anger is rather ineffective, considering his cock is still rock hard inside of Michael, and isn’t _that_ interesting new information. Michael files it away for future occasions and rolls his eyes at Alex. He moves off of him after a second, and there’s a lot of fumbling until they both have at least their underwear on. Michael waits to finish getting dressed until Alex is in his own seat again. It’s awkward and tight with a hard on and lubed ass, but Michael ignores that in favor of looking hopefully at Alex, whose face’s gone back to frowning.

“We can pick this up when we get home, right?” Alex doesn’t answer, but he lets out a growl low in his throat that makes Michael clench his hands around the edge of his seat – now properly upright – so that he doesn’t touch himself. He’s pretty sure he just earned himself at least two weeks of blue balls.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: alex finds his mom + malex  
> disclaimer: i know very little about native american culture. i’ve done some quick research to find out what tribe alex’s mom could be part of, and her name i found in [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCJ4YXKMK3s&feature=youtu.be) video, though, as they say in the vid, the word sunlight would actually be spelled “shándíín”. please do let me know if there’s anything that needs fixing!

Michael opens the door after the fourth knock, a scowl on his face and a crying baby perched on his hip. He deflates a little when he sees Alex who, on his part, lowers his raised first slowly, eyes fixed on the child.

“You have a kid?” He says, voice low and a little lost. Sure, he hasn’t seen Michael in a while, but it hasn’t been nearly long enough for him to have had a _son_. Least of all one that looks like he’s about a year old.

“It’s a long story.” Michael waves away the question, scowl still in place. Alex swallows a couple of times and buries his hands in the pockets of his jean jacket. Michael is still staring at him questioningly and it makes Alex squirm.

“I need your help,” he says in the end. Michael just raises an eyebrow at him. “I know we haven’t been on the warmest terms recently, but-“ He trails off. That’s an understatement. He’d stopped talking to both Michael and Maria entirely after he’d found out about them. With Maria, it had been a little easier to mend the connection after the initial burn, but Alex had kept his distance from Michael even after Maria had let him know things hadn’t worked out between them. They’ve barely seen each other in the last six months – though they’ve both worked on resolving the Max and Rosa situation – let alone spoke to each other. So Michael’s snort is more than justified.

“What, haven’t got any little friends you can ask?”

“That’s-“ Alex sighs and bites down on the retort he has ready on the tip of his tongue. He didn’t come here to fight, he reminds himself. “I don’t trust any of them with this.”

Michael’s eyes widen a little, then narrow, and after a second he’s stepping aside and waving Alex through. Alex has never actually been inside Michael’s new place, so he looks around curiously. There are toys scattered around, a couple of pacifiers on the coffee table, along with a coffee mug. The tv is on, some kind of cartoon playing, but Michael shuts it off as soon as he’s closed the door behind them.

“I was about to feed him,” Michael says, nodding at the baby, who’s gone quiet as is now chewing on his fist as he stares at Alex. It’s a bit unsettling, to be studied this way by a one-year-old. “You can talk while I do that.”

Alex nods and follows him in the little kitchen. He falls into a chair when Michael points to it, a grateful sigh escaping his lips. Michael settles the kid in a booster seat and goes back to preparing the meal, which Alex assumes he interrupted when he knocked. When he’s settled in front of the booster seat, plastic kid-proof plate of baby food at the ready, he nods to Alex to talk. It’s Alex’s turn to raise his eyebrows.

“Am I supposed to just ignore the kid?”

“Yes,” Michael hisses, then sighs at Alex’s unimpressed stare. “He’s not mine.”

Alex scoffs. He wants to say he begs to differ, because the mop of light brown curls and the wide hazel eyes the baby is sporting are indication enough. Michael seems to know that and regret his words, because he winces as soon as they’re out of his mouth.

“I mean, not exactly.” He sets the spoon down and coos at the baby when he makes a protesting noise. “He came from one of the new pods we found, about four months back. Kyle and Liz think he was about eight months when we found him, so he’s around one now. I-“ he bites his lip and looks between the kid and Alex, “I think he’s my brother. My biological brother, yʼknow. He reached for me when he woke up, so I took him. I think he recognized me somehow.”

He shrugs and goes back to feeding the baby, completely ignoring Alex’s open-mouthed stare. Alex licks his lips, shaking himself out of his stupor after a second. The questions shoot out of his mouth before he can control them, “Does he have a name? And are you going to raise him as your own?”

“Rath, and yes,” Michael says, completely focused on the baby, who smiles up at him at the sound of his name. Something that sounds suspiciously like Da comes out of his mouth and Michael blushes at that. It makes Alex go all soft inside and he has to look away before he does something stupid like reach for Michael. Dammit, it’s already hard to be around him on his own, but with a kid? It’s totally unfair.

“Your turn,” Michael says after a second.

“Right, um. You remember when I told you about my mom?” Michael turns back to him, spoon halfway to Rath’s mouth. He nods, confused. “When I was trying to figure out my dad’s involvement with Project Shepard, I called her. She’d been in this care home for years, and when my dad let me know how I’ve been able to contact her, even visited a couple of times, but then, after my dad woke from the coma, I wasn’t able to reach her anymore. I think he moved her to another facility, so I spent the last five months looking for her. At one point I thought-“ He swallows, blinking around the tears forming in his eyes. He hadn’t even wanted to entertain the possibility, but he knew his dad was capable of that and more. “But I think I found her. I just… I donʼt think I can go alone. I understand if you want to say no, considering last time…” He trails off, fidgeting with his jacket as he stares at a burnt spot on the table top.

“Alex,” Michael says gently, reaching a hand out to him. He doesn’t touch him, and Alex wants to cry at that because he misses Michael, misses being touched by him and talking to him, and realizes now this is probably a way worse idea than he’d initially thought. He looks up at him anyway, hopeful. “I’ll go. I just need to call Iz and see if she can take Rath.”

*

They set off early the next morning, Alex passing over a coffee to a bleary-eyed Michael as the alien gets into the passenger seat of Alex’s SUV. Michael nods in gratitude, slumping against the door. They don’t say anything for the first few miles, Michael busy nursing his coffee. Alex can see he’s fidgety, checking his phone every other minute.

“I’m sorry,” he says when he can’t take Michael’s restless energy anymore. Michael looks up at him, lowering the coffee cup with a confused sound. “I know this can’t be easy. Leaving him. And this thing with my mom-“

“I agreed to it,” Michael interrupts him, voice soothing. Alex shoots him a grateful smile and they fall back into silence for a while. It’s not until Alex is turning into the drive way for the care facility that Michael speaks up. “What’s her name? Your mom’s?”

Alex puts the car into park and pauses, only now realizing that though he’d mentioned his mom in passing to Michael over the years, he’d never actually _talked_ about her. He feels shame roiling in his stomach and has to swallow a couple of times before he can give Michael an answer. “Shundeen. I… Think it means sunlight, in Navajo. We never really talked about her heritage.”

He bites his lower lip around a sigh, wiping his hands over his face before he can get emotional. He hops down from the car, already walking towards the entrance when Michael catches up to him. They find the reception and the nurse there, fortunately, lets them through without much of a fuss when Alex explains his relation to one of the patients. They’re shown into a bright recreational room where several of the patients are watching tv or playing card games. Alex spots his mom sitting under an open window, book in hand. His heart clenches and he sighs in relief – she seems to be just fine.

Before they move closer, Alex turns to face Michael, hands raised between them. “You can wait here.” Michael’s eyebrows shoot up and he’s already opening his mouth to argue, but Alex interrupts him. “No, listen. You know about Mimi DeLuca, right?”

Michael’s brow bunches in confusion. “She forgets stuff. I thought-“ Michael’s eyes widen in realization at Alex’s silence, mouth falling open in a perfect _o_. “You think her illness was caused by aliens.”

“Kyle and I aren’t sure, but yes. Apparently, Mimi had been working with my dad and Jim Valenti. Dad had Jim killed, but I figured he didn’t quite manage that with Mimi. They must’ve had another alien who could cause dementia at Caufield.”

He can see the color draining from Michael’s face and wants nothing more than reach for him, take one of his hands and comfort him. He knows exactly what his mind’s flashing back to right now, because he’s thinking of the same thing. With Rath around now, Alex can understand how much deeper the loss of his mom hits. He watches as Michael blinks back the tears from his eyes.

“You think he did the same to your mom?” Michael whispers, eyes shooting to the woman sitting in the chair.

“I wouldn’t put it past him,” Alex nods, “She left when I was so young, I didn’t even question when he told me it was because there was something wrong with her mind. He wouldn’t let me visit her at first, so I didn’t get to talk to her until after my first tour. She remembered me immediately, but her mind wanders, sometimes. I think maybe she was exposed for a brief period, just so my dad would have enough proof to get her committed.”

Michael curses under his breath, his eyes still lost over Alex’s shoulders. His fists are clenched at his sides and once again, Alex has to push down the need to reach for him. He’s about to reiterate that Michael can wait where he is when their eyes meet again and Michael speaks, “You’re not doing this alone.”

Alex feels a bit like crying, but all he does is nod. His mom looks up when they approach, and her smile immediately puts him at ease. She looks happy to see him.

“Hi, mom.”

“My boy,” she says, setting aside her book so she can reach for him. He hugs her tightly for a few long seconds, then lowers himself in the empty chair to her left. Michael hovers, uncertain, until Alex nods to the other chair. “Mom, this is Michael, my friend from high school, remember?”

Shundeen nods, her eyes focusing on Michael. Alex has to hide a smile when he can see him shift under her studying gaze. It only lasts a second, because then she’s turning back to Alex. Her smile has gone a little sad. “I didn’t think you’d find me.”

Alex curses his father’s name to hell and back, for putting his mom through this for no reason. For having loved her children and wanting to protect them. He takes his mom’s hand in his, stroking his thumb across the soft skin. “Of course. I’ll always find you.”

They spend the rest of the morning catching up. He tells her about having been honorably discharged, about the progress with his leg, about finding private coding gigs so he can work from home. They don’t mention Jesse, though his shadow still hovers over them. Shundeen’s eyes grow distant sometimes, and Alex has to call her name a few times to get her to focus, or he has to repeat stories he’s sure he’s already told her, but she looks like she’s doing much better than the last time he talked to her over the phone, back when he first found out about Project Shepard.

They say goodbye when the patients are called in for lunch. Alex kisses his mom on both cheeks, then presses his forehead to hers for a few seconds. He’s so lost in his overwhelming emotions that he doesn’t notice Michael hanging back for a moment, not until he’s outside, able to breathe properly again and realizes he’s alone. He shoots Michael a questioning look when he finally gets out of the building, but Michael just shakes his head and nods to the car.

“I want to get her out of here. Take her home,” Alex says when they’re back in the SUV. He’s staring straight ahead, unable to look at Michael right now.

“Your dad-“

“I know,” he sighs, eyes falling shut as he drops his head to the headrest. “I want to find a way.”

They’re silent for so long that Alex wonders if Michael has fallen asleep, but when he opens his eyes to look over at him, Michael meets his gaze with unwavering eyes. “Thank you, for coming with me.”

“Of course.” Michael smiles, small and genuine, and Alex’s breath catches in his throat. He hasn’t been this close to Michael in months, hasn’t let himself think about it, but now they’re here and his blood is thundering in his ears. He focuses on the sound of Michael’s voice, the soft drawl of it. “She thanked me, you know.” He smiles again at the inquiring sound Alex makes. “She said, ‘Thank you for loving my boy’, and then she hugged me.”

Alex feels like crying. Again. He gives in and reaches for Michael’s hand, squeezing it tight. He’s overwhelmed and can’t say anything, but he sees in Michael’s eyes that that little interaction has meant the world to him, having that one bit of motherly love he’d only experienced briefly before it had been ripped away from him. He can see the love he feels for this man reflected on Michael’s face, and it hits him in full force – the need to be with Michael has never been stronger.

They’re frozen, staring at each other, for a long time. It’s Michael, always Michael, that makes the first move in the end. He shifts in his seat so he’s leaning forward, hands stopping a hair’s breadth away from Alex’s chest. He’s not looking directly at Alex when he says, “I’d really like to kiss you.”

Alex has the presence of mind to whisper “Please”, and then he forgets about everything else around him because Michael’s lips are finally on his again. It’s softer than it’s ever been, unhurried. Peaceful. Michael’s hands cup his face like he’s something precious and when he pulls back, Alex can feel the tears rolling down his cheeks. He sniffs and dries his face with the sleeve of his hoodie, trying to dissimulate with a laugh. It comes out wet and painful.

“I missed you,” he mumbles, fingers curling in Michael’s shirt so he can keep him close, his head resting on Michael’s shoulder. They stay like that for a long time, until Michael presses a kiss to his hair and offers to drive.

The journey back is similar to the way over, only there’s a sense of peace and calm between them that wasn’t there before. Alex spends his time watching the side of Michael’s face and the relaxed slope of his shoulders. They’re just crossing over into Roswell when he says, “Come home with me.”

“I have to-“

“You and Rath,” Alex hurries to clarify. Michael looks over at him like he’s grown a second head. “I want this, want you. I’ve spent the last six months yearning for you, Guerin, cursing myself for having been too late. I don’t want to waste another minute.”

Michael makes a choked-off sound in his throat, and then the car is swerving off the road. Alex almost yelps, but Michael’s just putting the car into park and launching himself over the central console so that he can kiss Alex.

“You can’t just say shit like that,” he mutters when he pulls back, still close enough that his lips brush against Alex’s with every word. He sighs, forehead pressed close to Alex’s temple. “We have so much to work through, Alex.”

“I know.”

“I can’t be that easy.”

“I know.”

“I have a _kid_.” Michael pulls back completely, incredulous laugh bubbling from his chest. Alex just stares at him calmly until he’s done. “Fuck, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but- Yes.”

“Yes?” Alex’s tone is hopeful, too hopeful, his heart pounding in his chest.

“Yes, I want that. I want you. This is crazy,” Michael shakes his head with a laugh and wipes his hands over his face, but continues, “I don’t care that I just got an apartment. I don’t care that we have a decade of shitty things to work through. I want to come home to you at the end of the day, I want to raise Rath with you, I want-“

Alex shuts him up with a kiss. They’ll have time to figure out whatever they need. For now, he just wants to kiss Michael until they both forget where they are.


End file.
